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Magic1's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 10:50am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Username / 12/15/2011 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
by lebato97 / 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw a 10 dollar bill on the street, as I went to grab it, it was pulled away by a string. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was tricked by teenagers or that I tripped and fell as I went for it. FML
by aceshot97 / 12/06/2011 at 9:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML
by Grounded / 11/03/2011 at 5:18am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/02/2011 at 11:58pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML
by Ania / 10/15/2011 at 1:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by siikman313 / 09/12/2011 at 5:37pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a lady come in to order a pizza. She wanted to use a free delivery coupon. After telling her several times that she couldn't use a free delivery coupon, unless she was having the pizza delivered, she told me I have horrible people skills. FML
by pea / 09/12/2011 at 2:32pm / United States / Work
Today, while standing in line at the video store, I happen to notice a very hot young girl on the TV screen, and mentioned to my friend that I'd "hit that." I was immediately punched by the girl in front of me. Seems the hot girl on TV was her on a security monitor. FML
by helpless_soul / 08/29/2011 at 12:27am / United States / Intimacy
Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML
by Anonymous / 08/13/2011 at 3:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar. Twenty minutes after we had left, we got a call. We excitedly answered the phone, only to hear the guy ask, "So are you the fat one or the ugly one?" FML
by me / 08/08/2011 at 11:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by dukebluedevils13 / 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals
Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML
by Joe / 08/04/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Florida) / Money
Today, I was really excited because the girl I'd liked since freshman year asked me out. She came to my house and my mom decided to show her baby pictures of me with tampons up my nose because I'd had a nose bleed. Even worse, there was one picture of me when I was 15 doing the same thing. FML
by tamponface / 07/30/2011 at 8:03am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
- Today, while enjoying a truly epic move from my wife in the hotel shower, I managed to accidentally… Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in… Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me…