Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Maggey

Search for a member

Maggey

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 24 October 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3617
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Maggey : I'm a gogo dancer and a rave enthusiast. I don't have much of a direction as far as a "real" job goes. Nursing or something along those lines that pays well so I have the resources to pursue a career as a fetish model/performer. I love my job and the people I work with as well as meeting new people. Feel free to message me if you want.

Maggey's page activity

Visits<b>DevilsMetsGiants</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 7:00am<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 9:55pm<b>Coopzorz</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 8:59am<b>DAN_THA_GR8</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 11:08am<b>Pitbull305</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 9:52pm<b>SkiPort</b> - the 09/17/2012 at 8:31am<b>Baustigt</b> - the 07/08/2012 at 8:49am<b>osteobabe</b> - the 07/05/2012 at 1:37pm<b>allmidnighteyes</b> - the 08/11/2010 at 3:47am

Maggey's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Maggey's badges

Maggey's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on an airplane that was experiencing some turbulence. Feeling anxious, I reached over and grabbed my husband's hand for comfort. He then said, "Why are you scared of dying? You're not even pretty." FML

#13468251
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38652) - you deserved it (3719)

On 10/16/2010 at 2:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML

#13169331
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9990) - you deserved it (32961)

On 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was emptying the cutlery section of the dishwasher when I reached down and accidentally got the tip of a steak knife wedged half-way under my fingernail. My mum yelled at me for getting blood on the clean dishes. FML

#13125278
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29792) - you deserved it (3315)

On 09/20/2010 at 5:37am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34362) - you deserved it (3918)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39361) - you deserved it (14823)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

#12797830
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12347) - you deserved it (25863)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a restaurant, I was joking around trying to make my friend laugh by pretending to be a ninja. I did this by putting my napkin in front of my face. I happened to look over at another table and saw that a lady wearing a burqa was giving me the most evil glare I have ever seen in my life. FML

#12768878
47 comments

Today, I was working as a camp counselor helping a five year old girl. I heard her mumble, "My grandpa is getting married on Saturday." I enthusiastically replied and told her how exciting that was! Only after did I realize that she said 'buried'. FML

#12738391
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25774) - you deserved it (8187)

On 08/25/2010 at 12:32pm - misc - by counselor - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41671) - you deserved it (12552)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while casually sitting at a bar, a drunk biker with no teeth leaned over and tried to kiss me. I'm a sailor in the Navy, but I think I screamed like a little girl. FML

#12617808
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30468) - you deserved it (4783)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by dentallycorrect - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was fooling around on the trampoline with this guy, when a bounce caused us to bang our heads together, knocking me out cold. FML

#12144895
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23297) - you deserved it (12153)

On 07/27/2010 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by aero00 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

#11999440
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12561) - you deserved it (43802)

On 07/20/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

#11999440
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12561) - you deserved it (43802)

On 07/20/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my boyfriend woke up wheezing terribly, aching, and sneezing. He's allergic to cats. I have 2 and they are my babies. He gave me an ultimatum, him or the cats. I haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him that I choose the cats. FML

#11892706
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18851) - you deserved it (60008)

On 07/15/2010 at 2:53am - love - by BambooLove (woman) - United States

Today, I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find out so I threw myself down the stairs at work and ended up having to go to the hospital. FML

#10658705
513 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14821) - you deserved it (237702)

On 05/20/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by Chichensoup (man) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: