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Maestrov

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Maestrov

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 25 April 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 726
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Maestrov : You exist, but do you live?

Maestrov's FML badges

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Up and coming moderator

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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Maestrov's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML

#19563136
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31399) - you deserved it (6135)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML

#19443531
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27980) - you deserved it (6393)

On 04/10/2012 at 3:26pm - work - by rescuetheduck (woman) - Finland (Eastern Finland)

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML

#19404370
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30198) - you deserved it (1967)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm - misc - by Eliza - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

#19246597
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24273) - you deserved it (2204)

On 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was jamming out and playing some air guitar. I somehow managed to knee myself directly in my left eye socket. I now have a hideously swollen face and a black eye. When people ask me what happened, I'll be hesitant to tell the truth. FML

#19237807
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8620) - you deserved it (20386)

On 03/08/2012 at 4:03am - misc - by wtf - United States

Today, I proudly gave my grandma a picture I had drawn for her. She didn't seem thrilled with it, and afterwards the rest of my family seemed upset. Nobody could fathom why I drew grandma a picture of a graveyard for her 85th birthday. It was suppose to be a bridge. FML

#13479988
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24332) - you deserved it (6124)

On 10/17/2010 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

#9161234
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32254) - you deserved it (3578)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26821) - you deserved it (6947)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, I was having an in depth discussion with my girlfriends father about how corrupt journalists are and how our town's paper is the worst paper on the planet. After insulting basically everything about the newspaper, I asked him what he did for a living. He's the editor of the newspaper. FML

#9130183
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11869) - you deserved it (41419)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:00pm - misc - by annonoymus - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML

#9067691
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33746) - you deserved it (5950)

On 03/14/2010 at 5:09am - misc - by Cooky (man) - United Kingdom (Calderdale)

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

#9048258
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22137) - you deserved it (9793)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by smellsgood (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

#9048258
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22137) - you deserved it (9793)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by smellsgood (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while at work, a man came in wearing a very elaborate cowboy ensemble and went to talk to one of my coworkers. Once he left, I asked her how she knew a gay cowboy. She then explained that he's actually a farmer and her husband of ten years. FML

#9048204
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6262) - you deserved it (32629)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

#9019177
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28826) - you deserved it (6507)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)



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