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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Madman85

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Madman85
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4753
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Madman85 : Just a regular guy with extraordinary bad luck. Every day is FML day. Big fan of the website and glad someone came up with the idea. Now I can write instead of taking out my frustrations on inanimate objects.

Madman85's last visitors

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Madman85's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Madman85's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on, and listening to loud music when she suddenly looked worried and asked if I heard something. I said no and continued. Moments later, three firemen opened the bedroom door and told us to get dressed and go outside because the building was on fire. FML

#3155973 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (37770) - you deserved it (6393)

On 06/23/2009 at 8:56pm - love - by Jerf (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it was graduation day, and the very first time I'm hosting an event. When I got on stage, I stared at the audience for a good 5 seconds, then I fainted. FML

#2625677 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (37579) - you deserved it (4035)

On 06/05/2009 at 6:48am - misc - by Emcee (man) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710 (1201)

I agree, your life sucks (55735) - you deserved it (136026)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#2499488 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (93856) - you deserved it (4275)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML

#2485875 (296)

I agree, your life sucks (31297) - you deserved it (26034)

On 05/31/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by bluehairedfreakgirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are suppose to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here FML." FML

#2459150 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (16348) - you deserved it (54642)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML

#2387828 (249)

I agree, your life sucks (50723) - you deserved it (3433)

On 05/28/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by Jeanine (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my phone ringing. As I groggily reached for it I managed to knock my fan onto my head, leaving a grate-shaped bruise. The best part? My phone wasn't ringing, I dreamed myself awake. FML

#2336807 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (31092) - you deserved it (3831)

On 05/27/2009 at 7:44am - misc - by GodDamnFan (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my most difficult task at work was three hole punching a 500 page document so somebody could put it in a binder on their shelf and not read it. I have a $150,000 education. FML

#2326583 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (38444) - you deserved it (5356)

On 05/26/2009 at 10:19pm - work - by bagpipesrkmywrld (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a speeding ticket while driving to my court date for a prior speeding ticket. FML

#2311636 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (9356) - you deserved it (75743)

On 05/26/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by Wick (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to see Terminator. Not wanting to spend an outrageous amount of money at the concession stand, I sneaked a Dr. Pepper into the theater. I thought I had gotten away with it, until I opened the bottle and it exploded all over me and four other people that I didn't know. FML

#2298945 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (9120) - you deserved it (34404)

On 05/26/2009 at 12:51am - misc - by embarrassed (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while playing The Sims 2, I realized I had a virtual person's whole life planned out, and have nothing planned out for myself. FML

#2282395 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (15727) - you deserved it (32965)

On 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by drurbanXVII (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

#2238808 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (41861) - you deserved it (13237)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was helping some mental health patients at work, I spent 20 mins to fail to connect the DVD player to the TV and went back to make them something to eat. I came back into the room after 5 mins and one of the patients had connected it for himself. He has a profound learning disability. FML

#2213271 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (32403) - you deserved it (15001)

On 05/23/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by Tom_why - United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire)

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

#2209832 (393)

I agree, your life sucks (41160) - you deserved it (15447)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States