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MadaZer0's favorite FMLs
Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
by great / 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 02/10/2012 at 12:31am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend of more than two years told me in front of all of our friends that he'd trade me for some Playstation 3 games. I laughed it off because I thought he was kidding. He made it clear that he was serious. FML
by Girl / 03/17/2010 at 3:05am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my dad and I were in the car when a rabbit scurried across the road, just missing us. My dad turned and said to me, "Well, it's good we didn't hit him. He gets to live another day." I then looked in the rear view mirror to see the rabbit running away from the cross traffic, only to be hit by the car behind us. FML
by bunnylover / 03/15/2010 at 12:44pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals
by anonymous / 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Intimacy
Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML
by sadsexer23 / 02/15/2010 at 10:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Fv-day / 02/14/2010 at 11:32am / United States (Michigan) / Love
by grrrr / 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm / United States / Kids
by browniepoints / 02/06/2010 at 7:09pm / United States (California) / Love
by Richard / 02/06/2010 at 1:39pm / Love
by cherrycokeee / 02/06/2010 at 1:29pm / Love
Today, my mother told me that the carbon-monoxide alarm went off last night, but since she didn't smell any gas, she decided to just remove the batteries and go back to bed. I had to explain to her that you can't smell carbon monoxide, and that we could have died in our sleep. FML
by Kelso / 02/06/2010 at 1:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/04/2010 at 3:29am / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML
by Anonymous / 02/03/2010 at 3:04pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was eating at KFC when my roommate unexpectedly showed up. He asked me who I was there with, and I told him I was on a sexy date with his mom. Just then a woman 5 feet away turned around and gave me a disgusted look. Guess whose mom was in town visiting for the weekend? FML
by pchis4ever / 11/20/2009 at 1:30pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I just had a phone interview with a college. The lady asked me to spell out my password to a… Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex… Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He…
- Today,i attempted to weight the pig im raising for fair. Took me 20 minutes to get her close to the… Today, me and one of my best friend got in a huge fight. We now hate each other's guts. The reason… Today, I just finished my first year in a Paralegal Studies degree program. I started reading about…