Macromartyr

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Macromartyr

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3719
  • Number of comments : 118
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 67 posted

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Macromartyr's page activity

Visits<b>Risea</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 2:25pm<b>joco4</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 1:50pm<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 11:48pm<b>obviouslywaffles</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 1:06pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 11:04am<b>avadakedabra</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 5:41am<b>iPixelCheese</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 7:17pm<b>lilferrit</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 11:39pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 2:10am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 6:43am<b>OmgBecky19</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 1:29am<b>ExtremeEncounter</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 2:33pm<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 1:15am<b>Nicky816</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 12:36pm<b>_angeldust_</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 9:54pm<b>_nesss</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 6:43pm<b>asianpride9999</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 11:54am<b>Aero_x</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:01am

Macromartyr's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Macromartyr's favorite FMLs

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML

by PTKFML / 07/26/2009 at 12:37am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML

by expen_dable / 07/06/2009 at 1:55am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2009 at 9:23pm / Japan (Okinawa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother". FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2009 at 10:55am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

by embarrassedmom / 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, I found out my grandmother passed away. When I told my boyfriend I began to cry. Instead of caring, he said "you're getting my bed wet," rolled over, and fell asleep. FML

by JessBaby / 05/04/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I paid 11 dollars to see the new Wolverine movie. I arrived an hour early and waited patiently for the movie to start. 3 minutes before it began, a drunk guy stumbled in and took the last empty seat in the theater... next to me. He talked to me the whole movie. FML

by 21yearoldvirgin / 05/01/2009 at 5:46am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML

by Fykkhttdsetkkhvln / 04/26/2009 at 12:45pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2009 at 2:22pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

by mylifesucks / 04/18/2009 at 3:20am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Love

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, completely nude, I had to collect my clothes around the boy’s apartment I have been sleeping with for awhile. While his girlfriend watched to make sure I “got the fuck out.” FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I took my son for a walk to tell him about the passing of our family dog. As we were walking by the river, Ozzy (our deceased dog) was laying on the riverbank. My son thought he just ran away and we found him. Turns out my husband was too cheap to pay the 100$ vet disposal fees. FML

by cheaphubbyswife / 04/04/2009 at 5:19am / Canada (Northwest Territories) / Animals