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  • Number of visits : 3642
  • Number of comments : 118
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 67 posted

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Macromartyr's page activity

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Macromartyr's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Macromartyr's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML

Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52987) - you deserved it (3806)

On 06/14/2009 at 9:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML


I agree, your life sucks (129824) - you deserved it (78199)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother". FML


I agree, your life sucks (83888) - you deserved it (5274)

On 05/25/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45130) - you deserved it (152504)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML


I agree, your life sucks (100491) - you deserved it (24724)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm - kids - by embarrassedmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out my grandmother passed away. When I told my boyfriend I began to cry. Instead of caring, he said "you're getting my bed wet," rolled over, and fell asleep. FML


I agree, your life sucks (79413) - you deserved it (6267)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by JessBaby (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I paid 11 dollars to see the new Wolverine movie. I arrived an hour early and waited patiently for the movie to start. 3 minutes before it began, a drunk guy stumbled in and took the last empty seat in the theater... next to me. He talked to me the whole movie. FML

Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML


I agree, your life sucks (75356) - you deserved it (56109)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Fykkhttdsetkkhvln - United States (Ohio)

Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML


I agree, your life sucks (71542) - you deserved it (22805)

On 04/20/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML


I agree, your life sucks (381302) - you deserved it (43709)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, completely nude, I had to collect my clothes around the boy’s apartment I have been sleeping with for awhile. While his girlfriend watched to make sure I “got the fuck out.” FML


I agree, your life sucks (40081) - you deserved it (175616)

On 04/04/2009 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took my son for a walk to tell him about the passing of our family dog. As we were walking by the river, Ozzy (our deceased dog) was laying on the riverbank. My son thought he just ran away and we found him. Turns out my husband was too cheap to pay the 100$ vet disposal fees. FML


I agree, your life sucks (77531) - you deserved it (5747)

On 04/04/2009 at 5:19am - animals - by cheaphubbyswife - Canada (Northwest Territories)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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