Macromartyr

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Macromartyr

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3860
  • Number of comments : 118
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 67 posted

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Macromartyr's page activity

Visits<b>derpyshy</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 2:08am<b>mysteryman98</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 1:00am<b>Risea</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 2:25pm<b>joco4</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 1:50pm<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 11:48pm<b>obviouslywaffles</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 1:06pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 11:04am<b>avadakedabra</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 5:41am<b>iPixelCheese</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 7:17pm<b>lilferrit</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 11:39pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 2:10am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 6:43am<b>OmgBecky19</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 1:29am<b>ExtremeEncounter</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 2:33pm<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 1:15am<b>Nicky816</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 12:36pm<b>_angeldust_</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 9:54pm<b>_nesss</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 6:43pm

Macromartyr's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Macromartyr's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

by dinosaurman / 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

by ripfluffy / 09/28/2009 at 3:15am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, it is my boyfriend's and my one year anniversary. I bought him a Playstation 2. As soon as I gave it to him, he went straight to set it up without giving me anything. I said "What about me?" He walked over to me, gave me a kiss and said "I love it when you buy me things for no reason." FML

by luvizwar / 09/18/2009 at 7:27pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML

by nick2.0 / 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

by Scarred / 09/04/2009 at 1:15am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML

by robbed / 09/03/2009 at 3:09pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML

by abercrombieef / 08/27/2009 at 7:57pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

by litterbox_girl / 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I finally got the courage to approach a girl. I've never done anything like this before. She stared me down, not saying a word, until I felt so little that I just walked away. FML

by Mark / 08/13/2009 at 6:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

by esb / 08/13/2009 at 11:23am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

by piratequeen / 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML

by smiletellsall / 08/06/2009 at 7:41pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I got engaged to my boyfriend of three years. I made the announcement on my status on facebook so people would congratulate me. The only response I got about my engagement was from a girl I knew saying; "Umm, he didn't tell you he was cheating on you for three years with me?" FML

by ididntdoanythingaight / 08/02/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML

by dam01 / 08/02/2009 at 3:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, this guy I have been hanging out with for a while came over and we were about to do it. He pulled off my clothes and once I was naked I reached for his zipper. He just backed up and said he was a virgin and simply wanted to see me naked. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2009 at 8:56pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy