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Macromartyr

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Macromartyr

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3276
  • Number of comments : 118
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 67 posted

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Macromartyr's page activity

Visits<b>_angeldust_</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 9:54pm<b>_nesss</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 6:43pm<b>asianpride9999</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 11:54am<b>Mikenator23</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 10:54am<b>Aero_x</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:01am<b>caleb_9756</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 2:10pm<b>Minou</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:54pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 6:34am<b>StaySmexy</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 4:46pm<b>The9thIndividual</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 3:09am<b>xx_ginny</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:12pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 7:38pm<b>Bellatrix55</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 10:52am<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 10:11pm<b>splash69</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 6:34pm<b>koolkanga</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 11:10pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 3:37pm<b>sofabulous</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 12:40am

Macromartyr's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Macromartyr's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

#13661699
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64719) - you deserved it (9185)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at a local river, I had been pulled underwater by a very fast and strong current. While fighting for my life, I had let go of my sandals so I could pull myself up. After explaining to my mom what had happened to me, her response was "YOU LOST YOUR SANDALS!?" FML

#13111931
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27796) - you deserved it (3246)

On 09/19/2010 at 10:11am - misc - by lifesuck - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12654) - you deserved it (113471)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML

Today, I was looking down at my chest and noticed the hairs growing upon it. For a 16 year old, it's pretty impressive. It's a shame that I'm a girl though. FML

#8590174
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33884) - you deserved it (2830)

On 02/23/2010 at 3:36pm - misc - by Kay (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got rear-ended. In possibly the scariest part of downtown. At night. By a man who spoke hardly any English but managed to ask if I would go out dancing with him instead of calling my insurance company. FML

#7868479
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27365) - you deserved it (2115)

On 02/04/2010 at 1:34am - misc - by city_girl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

#7450891
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26862) - you deserved it (5703)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:17am - intimacy - by ilovesocks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after 8 years, I confessed one of my best friends I've been in love with him since we were kiddies. His answer was "Don't worry, I won't stop talking to you." FML

#7333121
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28363) - you deserved it (3429)

On 01/14/2010 at 1:45am - love - by handlin (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

#7264134
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33142) - you deserved it (9772)

On 01/10/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by coinoperatedgirl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8496) - you deserved it (58299)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was making out with this guy I had been seeing, and things start to get pretty steamy. As he paused for a second, I thought he was going to get up and find a condom, but instead he turns to me and says, "I think I'm going to go to the library." I wasn't invited. FML

#7004300
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16535) - you deserved it (2914)

On 12/29/2009 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML

#6677904
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44775) - you deserved it (21392)

On 12/09/2009 at 8:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML

#6593768
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53390) - you deserved it (2789)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

#6472262
386 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7269) - you deserved it (80389)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by obsessed (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. My spare keys are 45 minutes away in my dorm room. My dorm room keys are attached to my car keys locked in my car. Security said they would let me in as long as I had my school ID. It's on my keychain. FML

#5815091
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26016) - you deserved it (6854)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)



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