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Maccat9's favorite FMLs
Today, at the library, somebody left themselves logged in to Facebook on a public computer after they had left. Trying to teach them a lesson, I updated their Facebook status to something outrageous. That's when they came back to the computer after getting something from the printer. FML
by fail / 02/16/2011 at 6:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by bleu_noir / 02/14/2011 at 4:34pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I toured an art museum. Our tour guide had an obvious lisp, so I tried my best not to laugh. When she asked me a question about a sculpture, I accidentally responded "Yeth ma'am". She ended the tour right there. FML
by Sam / 02/09/2011 at 3:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by ouch / 02/09/2011 at 1:02pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML
by Anonymous / 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML
by mom21 / 02/08/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, I was leaving school to get tested for peptic ulcers, because my stomach has been hurting for a few months. To wish me luck, one of my friends gave me a friendly punch in the stomach. I threw up blood. FML
by bob / 02/05/2011 at 7:02am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I accidentally drank my sister's science project. Her science project consisted of taking a glass of orange juice and putting maggots in it to see if they would live. I thought it was just pulp. FML
by Username / 02/02/2011 at 11:46pm / Miscellaneous
by Brea / 02/01/2011 at 1:50pm / United States (Missouri) / Geek
Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML
by Stormbringer / 02/01/2011 at 1:37am / Miscellaneous
by imsadnow / 01/31/2011 at 3:01pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 4:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2010 at 2:15am / United States (Texas) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…