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Maccat9's favorite FMLs
Today, at the library, somebody left themselves logged in to Facebook on a public computer after they had left. Trying to teach them a lesson, I updated their Facebook status to something outrageous. That's when they came back to the computer after getting something from the printer. FML
by fail / 02/16/2011 at 6:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by bleu_noir / 02/14/2011 at 4:34pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I toured an art museum. Our tour guide had an obvious lisp, so I tried my best not to laugh. When she asked me a question about a sculpture, I accidentally responded "Yeth ma'am". She ended the tour right there. FML
by Sam / 02/09/2011 at 3:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by ouch / 02/09/2011 at 1:02pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML
by Anonymous / 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML
by mom21 / 02/08/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, I was leaving school to get tested for peptic ulcers, because my stomach has been hurting for a few months. To wish me luck, one of my friends gave me a friendly punch in the stomach. I threw up blood. FML
by soccerscout7 / 02/08/2011 at 7:48am / Health
by Shane / 02/08/2011 at 2:58am / Work
by bob / 02/05/2011 at 7:02am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I accidentally drank my sister's science project. Her science project consisted of taking a glass of orange juice and putting maggots in it to see if they would live. I thought it was just pulp. FML
by Username / 02/02/2011 at 11:46pm / Miscellaneous
by Brea / 02/01/2011 at 1:50pm / United States (Missouri) / Geek
Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML
by Stormbringer / 02/01/2011 at 1:37am / Miscellaneous
by imsadnow / 01/31/2011 at 3:01pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 4:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2010 at 2:15am / United States (Texas) / Health