Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Maaska

Offline (the 09/05/2014 at 7:44am) | Search for a member

Maaska

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Dallas, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 428
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Maaska's page activity

Visits<b>totallylosing</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:45pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 6:24pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 10:31pm<b>HeyTherexxx</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 6:38pm<b>JBrownie123</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 6:34pm

Maaska's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Maaska's badges

Maaska's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

#21251846
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39070) - you deserved it (7938)

On 09/04/2014 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by candy man - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

#21251632
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41767) - you deserved it (3162)

On 09/04/2014 at 2:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40577) - you deserved it (7752)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

#21243022
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40355) - you deserved it (4645)

On 08/22/2014 at 8:05am - work - by haileelouxxx (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

#21242552
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40416) - you deserved it (2525)

On 08/21/2014 at 3:30pm - misc - by stepshart - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on my first day at as a photo editor at a print store, I had to spend over an hour editing a full shoot of a fat man eating a baguette in a bathtub, closeups included. FML

#21242471
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34858) - you deserved it (3209)

On 08/21/2014 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37484) - you deserved it (6736)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24245) - you deserved it (44596)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42009) - you deserved it (6108)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted me to get him some take out. He responded with, "I think we should see other people. Uh, chicken please." FML

#21227320
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42152) - you deserved it (3373)

On 08/02/2014 at 1:35am - love - by bertiebeth - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43261) - you deserved it (7017)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML

#21226819
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53159) - you deserved it (3629)

On 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML

#21225641
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42492) - you deserved it (4366)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:38am - misc - by lostintdot (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man, and that my ass was grounds for discussion." FML

#21222536
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40335) - you deserved it (4494)

On 07/27/2014 at 10:54pm - misc - by tlm84 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: