Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Maaska

Offline (the 09/19/2015 at 8:01am) | Search for a member

Maaska

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Dallas, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2940
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Maaska's page activity

Visits<b>bigbrown24</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 1:07pm<b>BathroomGlasses</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 5:19am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 10:55pm<b>breekittenmitten</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 1:37pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 10:31pm<b>HeyTherexxx</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 6:38pm<b>JBrownie123</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 6:34pm

Maaska's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Maaska's badges

Maaska's favorite FMLs

Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whiskey, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML

#21469567
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35397) - you deserved it (2449)

On 09/17/2015 at 3:48pm - kids - by Angus (man) - France

Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML

#21469489
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22879) - you deserved it (5059)

On 09/17/2015 at 10:54am - misc - by mother teresa was a cunt (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was my dad's retirement. He is traditional Japanese, so I had custom-ordered a samurai sword from a traditional Japanese blacksmith with dad's name engraved on the blade in kanji script. He loved it, right up til my drunk cousin tried to use it to cut down a tree and snapped it in two. FML

#21469447
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27877) - you deserved it (1525)

On 09/17/2015 at 7:13am - misc - by Ryoichi (man) - Germany

Today, I'm on vacation in Japan with my brother. When he said he could speak Japanese, I guess what he really meant that he's a dumbass weeaboo who only knows the words "kawaii", "baka", "sugoi" and a few others. He ended up offending two locals so much that they beat the shit out of us. FML

#21469165
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26249) - you deserved it (3108)

On 09/16/2015 at 1:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Japan

Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd patronized for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML

#21469071
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24397) - you deserved it (4281)

On 09/16/2015 at 2:53am - misc - by BlueMacaw (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally finished restoring a car after working on it for 6 months, so I took it out for a drive. On the way back, I stopped at a red light, but the drunk driver behind me didn't. FML

Today, I went to reach for a long piece of lint next to my dryer. It was a snake. FML

#21466401
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25144) - you deserved it (2163)

On 09/09/2015 at 3:34am - animals - by StillLoveMyDogs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was let go from my dream job for requesting Photoshop as well as Illustrator. I was hired to create marketing materials. Guess I should have just used Paint. FML

#21466351
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23177) - you deserved it (1522)

On 09/08/2015 at 11:34pm - work - by :'( - United States (California)

Today, I caught two kids passing notes to each other in my class, so I told them to see me afterwards. When one of the kids eventually came up, I noticed he was crying. He looked up at me and sobbed out, "I was trying to make my first friend!" FML

#21466251
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26471) - you deserved it (7156)

On 09/08/2015 at 8:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I woke up with a electric dog collar on my neck. I wouldn't have noticed it until my stepfather turned the collar to the highest intensity just to wake me up. FML

#21436783
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25346) - you deserved it (1953)

On 07/05/2015 at 12:26pm - misc - by izaya - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, it's been 3 days since I moved into my new house. I'm already known as the neighborhood racist, after some dicksplash thought it'd be funny to tape a sign to my door overnight that said: "DO NOT RING IF YOU ARE A NEGRO AND/OR JEW." FML

#21436613
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28771) - you deserved it (2380)

On 07/05/2015 at 1:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, our outgoing boss told us about guy who's replacing him, saying he's very nice but very anal about things. Without thinking, I shrugged and said "Anal's not bad." Now everyone's calling me Anal-Girl. FML

#21432392
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24662) - you deserved it (8099)

On 06/26/2015 at 3:56pm - work - by very analytical (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I accidentally posted an extensive, negative review of the gynecologist I visited earlier this week. I messed up and posted it from my work's customer service email, so now it looks like the large, well-known company I work for had a poor gynecological experience. FML

#21432306
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16193) - you deserved it (21572)

On 06/26/2015 at 12:54pm - work - by AshWil - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my dad got so drunk that I had to drive him home. He kept yelling at me to not speed, saying I was going too fast and that there were too many bumps on the road. I hadn't even started the car yet. FML

Today, my friends made a little game out of my OCD. They like to purposely poke one of my arms so I immediately poke the other one. They think it's hilarious and now do it constantly. FML

#21414073
88 comments


Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: