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MWhinery95

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MWhinery95
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6418
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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MWhinery95's favorite FMLs

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

#18886717
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7511) - you deserved it (21618)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I got was a coupon for a couples acupuncture session from my sister. I'm single and have an extreme fear of needles. FML

#18886629
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21415) - you deserved it (1947)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by michellenKG (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I totaled my car, because I mistook the leaves blowing across the road for a child. I swerved and hit a tree. The home owner wants to sue for "harming his tree" and hospital wants to test my mental stability. FML

#18884103
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17959) - you deserved it (4076)

On 01/22/2012 at 8:52pm - misc - by wrecked - United States

Today, I did my old "toe-touch" cheerleading move to try to impress my 5-year-old daughter. When I landed, I broke my toe. FML

#18883527
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9027) - you deserved it (20724)

On 01/22/2012 at 7:49pm - health - by cheerymama (woman) - United States

Today, I had to send a picture of my Grandma at her funeral to my girlfriend, because she thought I was out cheating on her. FML

#18883322
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31629) - you deserved it (4894)

On 01/22/2012 at 7:31pm - love - by Jeff G. - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my father introduced me to his new girlfriend. She could have passed for my little sister, or even worse, my daughter. FML

#18881598
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28264) - you deserved it (2097)

On 01/22/2012 at 4:26pm - love - by Laura (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML

#18880094
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20563) - you deserved it (3210)

On 01/22/2012 at 1:06pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML

#18878139
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23437) - you deserved it (6130)

On 01/22/2012 at 6:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my teacher, who's Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for imitating her accent. I'm Filipino and my parents immigrated to Ireland where I was born, and then we moved to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML

#18841081
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32211) - you deserved it (2347)

On 01/18/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by meh - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my girlfriend we should start seeing other people. She said "Don't worry, I'm already way ahead of you." FML

#18840950
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28751) - you deserved it (8719)

On 01/18/2012 at 12:09am - love - by too slow - United States

Today, I hosted a "Night Out Against Crime" party at our local park. Only three people came, they robbed our fundraiser booth. FML

#18839775
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22767) - you deserved it (4303)

On 01/17/2012 at 10:31pm - money - by no money anymore - United States

Today, I started my new job as a dishwasher, and was very excited since I've been broke for weeks. A few people dined and dashed, apparently for the first time in the restaurant's history. My boss is superstitious. She fired me. FML

#18834092
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25804) - you deserved it (1732)

On 01/17/2012 at 11:08am - work - by broke - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started my new job as a dishwasher, and was very excited since I've been broke for weeks. A few people dined and dashed, apparently for the first time in the restaurant's history. My boss is superstitious. She fired me. FML

#18834092
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25804) - you deserved it (1732)

On 01/17/2012 at 11:08am - work - by broke - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out the girl I've been fooling around with for two weeks has a boyfriend, who is in jail, and is a member of the Aryan Brotherhood. FML

#18833133
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32182) - you deserved it (6395)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:57am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

#18813229
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27162) - you deserved it (22097)

On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)



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