Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MWhinery95

Offline (the 02/02/2014 at 3:51am) | Search for a member

MWhinery95

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7522
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

MWhinery95's page activity

Visits<b>NaN101</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 5:24am<b>MrEd</b> - the 12/14/2012 at 4:46am<b>bryan788</b> - the 11/19/2012 at 7:41pm<b>ladydragonstars</b> - the 10/27/2012 at 1:12pm<b>FMyLifeGod040</b> - the 08/21/2012 at 3:30pm<b>RussianFox</b> - the 07/12/2012 at 1:23pm<b>DocBastard</b> - the 07/12/2012 at 1:01pm<b>itsa_maddy</b> - the 07/12/2012 at 12:52am<b>ydi_4_suking</b> - the 07/11/2012 at 4:26am<b>arennie13</b> - the 07/11/2012 at 12:25am<b>l_teil</b> - the 07/10/2012 at 10:57am<b>uberdubers</b> - the 07/10/2012 at 8:12am<b>Abruun</b> - the 07/10/2012 at 5:46am<b>Iz_Dolan</b> - the 07/09/2012 at 10:50pm<b>erin37</b> - the 07/09/2012 at 10:22pm<b>jwbfml</b> - the 07/09/2012 at 8:15pm<b>kvdfan</b> - the 07/09/2012 at 6:31pm<b>MrBrightside21</b> - the 07/09/2012 at 11:53am

MWhinery95's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of MWhinery95's badges

MWhinery95's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9689) - you deserved it (73740)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, a little girl I give horse-riding lessons to told me she had saved up $8.00 for her own pony. I laughed and thought how cute she was, then realized that was more than I have in my own savings account. FML

#19054787
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25921) - you deserved it (10869)

On 02/12/2012 at 4:43am - money - by IHateBeingAStudent (woman) -

Today, I was at a choir convention, and everyone sings the national anthem outside their rooms each night. I was not informed and took a shower. My roommates opened the door, yanked me out, and locked me out of the room to sing wearing just a towel. The guy down the hall was video taping it. FML

#19054485
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21245) - you deserved it (3667)

On 02/12/2012 at 3:07am - misc - by TowelSinger (woman) -

Today, I had to tell my mom to stop sending pictures of Jesus to my boyfriend. FML

#19052034
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29517) - you deserved it (2883)

On 02/11/2012 at 10:01pm - love - by Anon - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

#19046512
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24789) - you deserved it (4138)

On 02/11/2012 at 5:19am - animals - by lulu - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML

#19045856
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10764) - you deserved it (41153)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:36am - love - by sarah (woman) - United States

Today, my brother's girlfriend broke up with him. He has been playing Whitney Houston's "I will always love you" all day. FML

#19045802
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29000) - you deserved it (2890)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:23am - love - by annon - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML

#19045630
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29173) - you deserved it (4951)

On 02/11/2012 at 12:57am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20546) - you deserved it (9289)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML

#19009550
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30827) - you deserved it (7225)

On 02/06/2012 at 11:18am - intimacy - by jodibut - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43505) - you deserved it (4535)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I tried to inconspicuously hock a loogie. It went down my bra. FML

#18993154
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6726) - you deserved it (29648)

On 02/04/2012 at 3:22pm - misc - by Courtney - Reserved

Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML

#18968105
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34904) - you deserved it (3223)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:11am - work - by ABBenzin (man) - United States

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

#18967800
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54932) - you deserved it (4224)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

#18927018
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36509) - you deserved it (2893)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: