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MWhinery95

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MWhinery95
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6403
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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MWhinery95's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML

#19059708
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26326) - you deserved it (1988)

On 02/12/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

#19059341
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30127) - you deserved it (1920)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9311) - you deserved it (71942)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, a little girl I give horse-riding lessons to told me she had saved up $8.00 for her own pony. I laughed and thought how cute she was, then realized that was more than I have in my own savings account. FML

#19054787
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20972) - you deserved it (8326)

On 02/12/2012 at 4:43am - money - by IHateBeingAStudent (woman) -

Today, I was at a choir convention, and everyone sings the national anthem outside their rooms each night. I was not informed and took a shower. My roommates opened the door, yanked me out, and locked me out of the room to sing wearing just a towel. The guy down the hall was video taping it. FML

#19054485
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19719) - you deserved it (3513)

On 02/12/2012 at 3:07am - misc - by TowelSinger (woman) -

Today, I had to tell my mom to stop sending pictures of Jesus to my boyfriend. FML

#19052034
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26782) - you deserved it (2644)

On 02/11/2012 at 10:01pm - love - by Anon - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

#19046512
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23253) - you deserved it (3955)

On 02/11/2012 at 5:19am - animals - by lulu - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML

#19045856
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10298) - you deserved it (39955)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:36am - love - by sarah (woman) - United States

Today, my brother's girlfriend broke up with him. He has been playing Whitney Houston's "I will always love you" all day. FML

#19045802
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26020) - you deserved it (2644)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:23am - love - by annon - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML

#19045630
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26391) - you deserved it (4636)

On 02/11/2012 at 12:57am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19385) - you deserved it (9067)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML

#19009550
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28720) - you deserved it (6938)

On 02/06/2012 at 11:18am - intimacy - by jodibut - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39748) - you deserved it (4238)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I tried to inconspicuously hock a loogie. It went down my bra. FML

#18993154
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5988) - you deserved it (27449)

On 02/04/2012 at 3:22pm - misc - by Courtney - Reserved

Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML

#18968105
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28868) - you deserved it (2306)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:11am - work - by ABBenzin (man) - United States



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