Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MTFR

Offline (the 10/17/2014 at 10:05pm) | Search for a member

MTFR

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 5 November 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2839
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MTFR : I come on here to read the FML's and enjoy them, especially the comments, and now that we can message on this, feel free to message me (especially if you're a hot girl ;) no, but really, message me hahaha) and talk about really anything, basically if u wanna find out more just message me

MTFR's page activity

Visits<b>DreamBigDollFace</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 4:59am<b>waffule365</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 3:26am<b>BlueMoonCafe</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 1:47am<b>Han1156</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 6:26pm<b>slimjim8094</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 12:12pm<b>AH1Zviper</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 11:11am<b>ignoremeimweird</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 2:35am<b>gesegruber14</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 2:13am<b>mastro1185</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 1:04am<b>Joe9024</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 12:34am<b>MailMan11</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 11:50pm<b>TheIllitQemist</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 11:36pm<b>BlingBang</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 10:30pm<b>lorraineald</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 10:17pm<b>ambitiousnygrl</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 9:39pm<b>Nymphetamatrix</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 8:20pm<b>princesshorty</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 7:53pm<b>daphish</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 7:41pm

MTFR's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of MTFR's badges

MTFR's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22220) - you deserved it (45468)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML

#20524344
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35349) - you deserved it (5956)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42862) - you deserved it (5401)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53689) - you deserved it (3911)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

#20512419
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30775) - you deserved it (3397)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML

#20511821
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17192) - you deserved it (44264)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

#20510302
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38599) - you deserved it (9273)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

#20506870
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36241) - you deserved it (8078)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML

#20495286
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47424) - you deserved it (5478)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by frustrated! (woman) - United States

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

#20494543
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35661) - you deserved it (3155)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

#20481657
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39046) - you deserved it (7868)

On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I told my boyfriend about my upcoming mouth surgery. He freaked out. Not because he's worried about me, but because I told him I will not be able to give him head for two weeks. FML

Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML

#20473087
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27028) - you deserved it (3618)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by What? - Australia

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

#20472773
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29909) - you deserved it (2608)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: