MRflyingplatypus

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Offline (the 08/25/2016 at 1:37pm)

MRflyingplatypus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 August 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1843
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About MRflyingplatypus : Hey, person visiting my profile! There is nothing really to see, but if you want, feel free visit!

MRflyingplatypus's page activity

Visits<b>Tripartita</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 2:59pm

MRflyingplatypus's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of MRflyingplatypus's badges

MRflyingplatypus's favorite FMLs

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

by Ethan / 03/09/2009 at 9:35am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML

by nuberific / 03/05/2009 at 1:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

by Picaresque / 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML

by karma / 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML

by karma / 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

by buddy / 01/26/2009 at 9:58am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, the only girl I really loved said to me: I want you to be the father of my child, but I don't want to be your girlfriend. FML

by J.Smith / 01/15/2009 at 11:12am / Love