Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MR_GUERR0

Search for a member

MR_GUERR0

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4362
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MR_GUERR0 : I'm awesome and you are not just deal with it. Jk. I play competitive paintball and I like video games and football. Message me if you want :)

MR_GUERR0's page activity

Visits<b>Terzy</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 11:32pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 4:34am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 11:05am

MR_GUERR0's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of MR_GUERR0's badges

MR_GUERR0's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

#5150638
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37026) - you deserved it (4041)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I applied for a passport. I was told the first set of photos I took were unusable because my face, particularly my chin, didn't fit inside the designated area for your face in the picture. My chin did fit in the frame, my double chin however, did not. FML

#5146235
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15073) - you deserved it (39217)

On 09/09/2009 at 9:37am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML

#5136850
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12548) - you deserved it (48215)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend. There were some tents set up out the back so we decided to go in one. When we came out we got weird looks. It turns out my friend had turned on some lights behind the tent, showing a huge silhouette of me giving head. FML

#5102610
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9063) - you deserved it (29942)

On 09/07/2009 at 10:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML

#5065139
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70241) - you deserved it (2902)

On 09/05/2009 at 6:11pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend in my dorm room. My roommate came in, despite the signal I had up on the door. She didn't leave. She got on her computer and started playing Solitaire. FML

#5050419
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20944) - you deserved it (4737)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I awakened from my peaceful slumber in a great mood. I walked into my closet, ready to pick out an outfit for the day, to find my two year old daughter, kneeling on the floor with a pair of scissors in her hand, cutting up my wedding dress - my wedding is tomorrow. FML

#5019794
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62646) - you deserved it (12546)

On 09/03/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, a foreigner walked into my restaurant to pick up his pizzas. The bill was $25 and he gave me $30 and a 100 dollar bill. I gave him his change from the 30 and I didn't understand so I gave him back the 100 dollars. He said "Well if you dont want it, okay." He was gonna tip me $100. FML

#4999366
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44354) - you deserved it (13037)

On 09/02/2009 at 2:29pm - money - by Lizzzyygurl (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML

#4912906
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42448) - you deserved it (3376)

On 08/29/2009 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Ned (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML

#4867119
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77657) - you deserved it (3389)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by abercrombieef (woman) - United States (California)

Today, for my birthday, my mom presented me with a $4,000 check to pay for my braces. I've been very self-conscious about my teeth for years. Everyone applauded and told me how happy they were for me. Later, my mom asked me for the check back. Apparently it was just meant to make her look good. FML

#4859599
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64685) - you deserved it (2349)

On 08/27/2009 at 1:23pm - money - by crookedteeth (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got home from work, and saw a note on the counter my roomate left saying "Sorry about the basement." I then went into the basement, and found that it was flooded. My TV, Xbox360, mini-fridge, and couch were all destroyed. Good thing he tried to stop the leak with scotch tape. FML

#4856467
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42844) - you deserved it (2173)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by buzzzzkill (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I threw a party while my parents were gone. I forgot that our alarm automatically turns on at 11 pm, so when people opened the door, it went off. I couldn't find the number for the alarm company, so the cops showed up. Everyone started cheering because they thought they were strippers. FML

#4646350
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11201) - you deserved it (49764)

On 08/19/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Life of the party - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

#4644829
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64566) - you deserved it (3012)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was walking my Aunt's dog to the park and I grabbed a few doggy bags to pick up the poop. As it turns out the bag had a small unoticable hole in it, that grew bigger as I fit my hand through it. I ended up using my hand to pick up the poop and didnt realize it. FML

#4626949
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34931) - you deserved it (11268)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by itzcorinnelove (woman) - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: