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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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MCart

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MCart
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 October 1984 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 58825
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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MCart's favorite FMLs

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (362980) - you deserved it (401316)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and says "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

#185266 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (48381) - you deserved it (8475)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:26pm - love - by ak (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was teasing my boyfriend telling him that my butt was so much cuter than his and that at least mine wasn't smelly stinky or hairy. Then he said yeah, I just wish that your vag was the same way. FML

#144794 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (14178) - you deserved it (47333)

On 02/26/2009 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by FMluck (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795 (426)

I agree, your life sucks (174451) - you deserved it (40147)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML

#125156 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (47905) - you deserved it (5144)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by iliketurtles (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

#99885 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (52061) - you deserved it (5011)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by Nails (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

#70124 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (21705) - you deserved it (43864)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by swtkiss1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found my daughter on Facebook after years of looking for her after the divorce. It turns out it was my ex pretending to be my daughter so she could track me down. FML

#27666 (47)

I agree, your life sucks (37888) - you deserved it (4546)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by toad (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend told me he was going to take me out somewhere special, so I called in sick for work. Turns out he had made reservations for the restaurant I worked at. FML

#24997 (34)

I agree, your life sucks (24788) - you deserved it (5838)

On 02/11/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by seriously?! (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got this HUGE package at my college dorm from my parents with candy, chips, canned soup and all these goodies. When I called my mom to thank her, she replied "We got rid of your cat, Annie". FML

#22256 (52)

I agree, your life sucks (27494) - you deserved it (1340)

On 02/10/2009 at 8:44pm - animals - by melissae (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

#12567 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (179218) - you deserved it (31650)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML

#2729 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (34603) - you deserved it (1341)

On 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm - health - by Noname - Japan (Fukuoka)

Today, I didn't answer my cell phone. My Mom freaked out when she could not get in touch. She called the police and I did not hear the doorbell because I was sleeping. The police broke my door down. FML

#2613 (31)

I agree, your life sucks (15704) - you deserved it (1147)

On 01/26/2009 at 7:12am - misc - by Mudfence - United States (West Virginia)