About MARTY1985 : Motto: Nothing comes easy. If you want it, then work for it.
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MARTY1985's favorite FMLs
by NehNehPwn / 06/24/2014 at 11:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by madden2014 / 09/19/2013 at 6:23pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML
by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML
by Blah / 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML
by Unlucky / 10/09/2009 at 3:52pm / United States (Oregon) / Health
Today, I was taking my morning pills. There had been a lot of fruit flies in my house lately. I grabbed a cup of water beside to sink to wash the pills down. As soon as I tasted the drink, I realized it was vinegar and dish soap used to trap the flies. I washed my pills down with dead flies. FML
by Maggie123 / 09/14/2009 at 1:07am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
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- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…