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M1DGET_MOOSE's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/24/2014 at 4:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by sh3lbst3r / 03/14/2014 at 6:59pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML
by Anonymous / 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
by fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU / 03/03/2014 at 5:35pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML
by Anonymous / 03/01/2014 at 1:46pm / United States (California) / Money
Today, my girlfriend dumped me. This poses a problem, because her mother is my boss, and we work in an office on the first story of their apartment. Tomorrow I have to decide whether to quit my awesome and only job, or go to work for my now ex's mother in their house. FML
by M.A. / 02/25/2014 at 12:22am / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML
by chinaski7628 / 02/15/2014 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Work
by wtfjusthappened / 01/31/2014 at 10:29am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/15/2014 at 10:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found a great recipe for dinner, and emailed it to myself with the subject "Dinner tonight". Hours later, I'd forgotten all about it, opened my emails, saw the subject line, and thought someone was asking me out to dinner. I got really excited until I saw the sender address. FML
by Mels / 01/06/2014 at 3:57pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by dantko / 01/01/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2013 at 7:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML
by Anonymous / 09/24/2013 at 3:15am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/06/2013 at 11:27pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
- Today, I travelled in a shared taxi on the winding roads of the Peruvian Andes. The guy next to me… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…