[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

LysssNysss

Search for a member

LysssNysss
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 September 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 14842
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 58 posted

About LysssNysss : I love FML.

LysssNysss's last visitors

raphanneMcMarlinDurfFourShigaihayashilovelymessxx_carrrrr_xx012

LysssNysss's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

LysssNysss's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss sent out an email with the subject line "Urgent". He accidentally left the body of the email blank. I replied to all staff "You're firing blanks Peter". I later heard that his wife once got drunk and told everyone that they couldn't have kids because he has a low sperm count. FML

#3949208 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (29125) - you deserved it (7647)

On 07/22/2009 at 4:16am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after work, I parked in the parking lot I go to every day to let heavy traffic go by. As I was about to leave, two cops suddenly yanked me out of the car and arrested me for "stocking," as they spelled it on the report. Some paranoid girl thought I was parking there every day to watch her. FML

#3895356 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (34720) - you deserved it (2192)

On 07/20/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by et510 (man) - United States (Georgia)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML

#3769867 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (35665) - you deserved it (6003)

On 07/15/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by GrippedMyBalls - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I logged on to MSN for the first time in a month. In under 10 minutes, I found out that my little sister had changed my screen name to Jake the Weiner, told my friend that he should "suck my d***" and sent an email to all my contacts declaring my love for my best friend. FML

#3390593 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (37769) - you deserved it (4405)

On 07/01/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by Jake (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife and I went shopping for new glasses at a local store, but we didn't really get to actually buying one. On our way back, she warned me that my glasses of choice should in no way be 'those big arty ones'. When I asked her why not, she told me that I 'look gay enough already'. FML

#3365761 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (32004) - you deserved it (4087)

On 06/30/2009 at 1:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my friend and I were in her moms car talking about which job was harder: actor or artist. I said, "Art is easy. You just scribble on a piece of paper and call it abstract art." Her mom squinted at me in the rearview mirror and my friend stopped talking. Then she said, "My mom is an artist." FML

#3314911 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (8825) - you deserved it (32480)

On 06/28/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by URGH (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML

#3308517 (234)

I agree, your life sucks (19063) - you deserved it (32836)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

#2009053 (704)

I agree, your life sucks (120449) - you deserved it (28815)

On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML

#797984 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (9748) - you deserved it (113376)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by ashleyevans (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

#794025 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (57163) - you deserved it (12161)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (167981) - you deserved it (51067)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

#350139 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (63541) - you deserved it (21709)

On 03/15/2009 at 6:45pm - intimacy - by Moanie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I met this really attractive guy who introduced himself as Wyan. He was really cool and sweet and we got along pretty well. Then someone informed me that his name is Ryan and that he has a speech impediment, AFTER I had been referring to him as Wyan for quite some time. FML

#150793 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (37486) - you deserved it (10820)

On 02/27/2009 at 2:58am - love - by hellosaila (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

#509 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (6888) - you deserved it (40139)

On 12/13/2008 at 10:58pm - intimacy - by Mateo - Sent from mobile version