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LysssNysss

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LysssNysss
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 September 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 15156
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 58 posted

About LysssNysss : I love FML.

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LysssNysss's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss sent out an email with the subject line "Urgent". He accidentally left the body of the email blank. I replied to all staff "You're firing blanks Peter". I later heard that his wife once got drunk and told everyone that they couldn't have kids because he has a low sperm count. FML

#3949208
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34757) - you deserved it (9760)

On 07/22/2009 at 4:16am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after work, I parked in the parking lot I go to every day to let heavy traffic go by. As I was about to leave, two cops suddenly yanked me out of the car and arrested me for "stocking," as they spelled it on the report. Some paranoid girl thought I was parking there every day to watch her. FML

Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML

#3769867
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39970) - you deserved it (7668)

On 07/15/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by GrippedMyBalls - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I logged on to MSN for the first time in a month. In under 10 minutes, I found out that my little sister had changed my screen name to Jake the Weiner, told my friend that he should "suck my d***" and sent an email to all my contacts declaring my love for my best friend. FML

#3390593
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42942) - you deserved it (5647)

On 07/01/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by Jake (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife and I went shopping for new glasses at a local store, but we didn't really get to actually buying one. On our way back, she warned me that my glasses of choice should in no way be 'those big arty ones'. When I asked her why not, she told me that I 'look gay enough already'. FML

#3365761
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33974) - you deserved it (4366)

On 06/30/2009 at 1:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my friend and I were in her moms car talking about which job was harder: actor or artist. I said, "Art is easy. You just scribble on a piece of paper and call it abstract art." Her mom squinted at me in the rearview mirror and my friend stopped talking. Then she said, "My mom is an artist." FML

#3314911
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11158) - you deserved it (43672)

On 06/28/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by URGH (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML

#3308517
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20722) - you deserved it (41127)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML

#797984
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14468) - you deserved it (162780)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by ashleyevans (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

#794025
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66315) - you deserved it (16921)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

#350139
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66022) - you deserved it (22436)

On 03/15/2009 at 6:45pm - intimacy - by Moanie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

#350139
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66022) - you deserved it (22436)

On 03/15/2009 at 6:45pm - intimacy - by Moanie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

#350139
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66022) - you deserved it (22436)

On 03/15/2009 at 6:45pm - intimacy - by Moanie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I met this really attractive guy who introduced himself as Wyan. He was really cool and sweet and we got along pretty well. Then someone informed me that his name is Ryan and that he has a speech impediment, AFTER I had been referring to him as Wyan for quite some time. FML

#150793
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43959) - you deserved it (12976)

On 02/27/2009 at 2:58am - love - by hellosaila (woman) - United States (California)



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