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LycaeusVect

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LycaeusVect
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 863
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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LycaeusVect's favorite FMLs

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

#20137874
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13992) - you deserved it (2475)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by Medic - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8117) - you deserved it (30327)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML

#20133890
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21647) - you deserved it (1808)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:58am - health - by Weasel123 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML

#20132231
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22481) - you deserved it (1285)

On 10/25/2012 at 12:37am - health - by allison_fishing - United States

Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML

#20132231
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22481) - you deserved it (1285)

On 10/25/2012 at 12:37am - health - by allison_fishing - United States

Today, I learned that despite having told them two years ago, my parents still aren't accepting of me being gay. I found this out when my mom called and asked if I was "cured" yet. FML

#20131666
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22481) - you deserved it (4340)

On 10/24/2012 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML

#20131535
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28433) - you deserved it (1731)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML

#20131351
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16146) - you deserved it (43981)

On 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a cashier asked me if I would like to donate to breast cancer research. Since I have already made my donations this month, I politely declined. The cashier snorted and said, "Maybe you'll feel differently if someone you love got cancer." I'm a two-year survivor. FML

#20130942
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34699) - you deserved it (1728)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:21am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, for the second day in a row, I was constantly abused, yelled at, insulted, and berated by my wife for "endangering our child's life." I took her to the doctor for a vaccination and flu shot yesterday. FML

#20121390
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21359) - you deserved it (3149)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by DrugsRX (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19501) - you deserved it (4649)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, while shopping, an old man came up to me and told me I should be ashamed for walking around fake limping, and that it's horrible to mock people who actually limp from serious injuries. I wasn't faking, I was born without my right leg and I was getting used to my new prosthetic one. FML

#20119882
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29992) - you deserved it (1229)

On 10/16/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by Faker (woman) - United States

Today, while looking through the camera my boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML

#20119129
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7137) - you deserved it (52103)

On 10/16/2012 at 1:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML

#20118231
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33724) - you deserved it (1995)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by 3023-dang - United States

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25607) - you deserved it (4018)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)



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