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LycaeusVect

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LycaeusVect
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 864
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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LycaeusVect's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom went through my textbook and sharpied everything that could be "pornographic." It's a high-school biology textbook. FML

#18369717
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25958) - you deserved it (1525)

On 11/27/2011 at 8:07pm - misc - by wow - United States (Texas)

Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML

#18341424
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25326) - you deserved it (2080)

On 11/24/2011 at 9:09pm - intimacy - by vistingherfamily (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a letter of complaint from my landlord. It said my loud, obnoxious trampling is disturbing my downstairs neighbor, and I have to stop. I'm small and hardly weigh anything, but it seems that if I want to keep my lease, I'll have to master the art of levitating. FML

#18281989
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23047) - you deserved it (2530)

On 11/18/2011 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

#18070582
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23572) - you deserved it (29053)

On 10/25/2011 at 6:15am - intimacy - by sad - Reserved

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

#17857162
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32021) - you deserved it (1707)

On 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML

#17403916
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35174) - you deserved it (6503)

On 08/08/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by ApparentDrugAddict (woman) - United States

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

#17342308
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20808) - you deserved it (64574)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46327) - you deserved it (7240)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML

#15896670
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41004) - you deserved it (6672)

On 04/23/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by nightDREAMERms (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML

#14743872
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10375) - you deserved it (36518)

On 01/28/2011 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

#14644616
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28199) - you deserved it (6217)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

#14613104
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28151) - you deserved it (5108) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I discovered my parents have spent my college fund because "2012 will happen" before I graduate. FML

#14561634
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41267) - you deserved it (2772)

On 01/13/2011 at 12:48am - money - by skyhigh - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm a 25-year-old married woman and I'm currently living with my grandfather to take care of him. Today, he grounded me. FML

#8766084
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25929) - you deserved it (3421)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by grounded. - United States (Delaware)

Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML

#8726872
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11112) - you deserved it (14588)

On 02/28/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Joel_28 - Canada (Ontario)



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