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Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33902) - you deserved it (1911)
On 02/02/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by aliezzedine (man) - Lebanon
Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22747) - you deserved it (3521)
On 02/02/2012 at 4:31am - intimacy - by DieTrying - United States (California)
Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17621) - you deserved it (5026)
On 01/24/2012 at 5:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34244) - you deserved it (2508)
On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States
Today, I was transporting liquor between stores for work. A car pulled out and cut me off, causing me to slam on my brakes. My car stopped. The 200 dollars-worth of booze did not. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18896) - you deserved it (2616)
On 01/20/2012 at 3:23am - work - by LiquorChick (woman) - United States
Today, my teacher, who's Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for imitating her accent. I'm Filipino and my parents immigrated to Ireland where I was born, and then we moved to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29934) - you deserved it (1976)
On 01/18/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by meh - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26331) - you deserved it (2723)
On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)
Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left their sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30908) - you deserved it (3106)
On 01/14/2012 at 10:07pm - health - by CantPublish - United States
Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20179) - you deserved it (6492)
On 01/14/2012 at 1:52am - intimacy - by haggisbowl - United States
Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35943) - you deserved it (3355)
Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10942) - you deserved it (43688)
On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - work - by Needsanewjob (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my fiancé called and hung up right after I answered. He called back 5 minutes later demanding to know the name of the man who answered my phone. This "man" was me. I have bronchitis. Yes, he's aware of this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22384) - you deserved it (1602)
On 01/08/2012 at 1:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16149) - you deserved it (28387)
Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9826) - you deserved it (48634)
On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26893) - you deserved it (6972)
On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Friday 24 May 2013
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