Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LycaeusVect

Search for a member

LycaeusVect
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 850
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

LycaeusVect's last visitors

pickleOnABunblueheroprofligatesoul

LycaeusVect's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of LycaeusVect's badges

LycaeusVect's favorite FMLs

Today, I introduced my mother to my new girlfriend. My mom made a very nasty comment about her in Spanish, not realizing that my girlfriend teaches Spanish at the local school. FML

#19385390
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30497) - you deserved it (2244)

On 03/31/2012 at 11:01pm - love - by spanishsucks - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I took a very expensive flight to New York City for a job interview. I waited in my hotel room all day for the phone call to go to my once in a lifetime interview. By noon I was nervous, eight I was pissed. Around ten I realized my phone was still in airplane mode. FML

#19381201
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24147) - you deserved it (17417)

On 03/31/2012 at 8:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

#19343662
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36619) - you deserved it (11379)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML

#19318105
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5615) - you deserved it (43840)

On 03/21/2012 at 12:06am - kids - by George Saunders - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I asked my mom if she could buy me some anti-nausea medicine. She said, "You just have a stomach ache. It's not like you're throwing up." As she said it, I threw up everything but my childhood memories. She still wouldn't get any medicine. FML

Today, my mum cleaned my room. When I got home she yelled at me for having condoms. I'm 24 years old and in a long term relationship. FML

#19305952
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26276) - you deserved it (10776)

On 03/19/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by rahrahcakes (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML

#19292918
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19280) - you deserved it (11100)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:45am - misc - by belieber101 - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

#19270252
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27437) - you deserved it (7013)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

#19268925
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18326) - you deserved it (7020)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Wow (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25988) - you deserved it (5669)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML

#19250410
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32685) - you deserved it (4944)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26891) - you deserved it (8841)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML

#19188547
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7547) - you deserved it (26154)

On 02/29/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML

#19164733
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25846) - you deserved it (2477)

On 02/26/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by whattabrat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

#19146778
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12031) - you deserved it (29457)

On 02/23/2012 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: