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Today, I asked my mom if she could buy me some anti-nausea medicine. She said, "You just have a stomach ache. It's not like you're throwing up." As she said it, I threw up everything but my childhood memories. She still wouldn't get any medicine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18499) - you deserved it (1613)
On 03/19/2012 at 3:20pm - health - by Shleebs (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my mum cleaned my room. When I got home she yelled at me for having condoms. I'm 24 years old and in a long term relationship. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20823) - you deserved it (8151)
On 03/19/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by rahrahcakes (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15715) - you deserved it (8125)
On 03/17/2012 at 8:45am - misc - by belieber101 - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22439) - you deserved it (5269)
On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17564) - you deserved it (6936)
On 03/13/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Wow (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21412) - you deserved it (4321)
On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States
Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29040) - you deserved it (3933)
On 03/10/2012 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23034) - you deserved it (6919)
On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6486) - you deserved it (19358)
On 02/29/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25218) - you deserved it (2456)
On 02/26/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by whattabrat - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10522) - you deserved it (27001)
On 02/23/2012 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29718) - you deserved it (4054)
On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had to call AAA for the fifth time in two months. When the driver got out, I instantly recognized him. It was the same guy who helped me out all the previous occasions. When he saw me, he snorted and doubled over laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16056) - you deserved it (4788)
On 02/11/2012 at 1:35pm - misc - by big steve (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33596) - you deserved it (6845)
On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got punched by a man for making fun of his stutter. I didn't. I stutter too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30809) - you deserved it (1579)
On 02/02/2012 at 11:00pm - misc - by Sam (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Friday 24 May 2013
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