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LycaeusVect

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LycaeusVect
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 866
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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LycaeusVect's favorite FMLs

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

#19870376
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27524) - you deserved it (4704)

On 06/30/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

#19870178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17649) - you deserved it (2145)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:10am - misc - by audreyav - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML

#19869373
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19550) - you deserved it (2717)

On 06/30/2012 at 1:08am - work - by John - United States (New York)

Today, while waiting for a bus, someone started smoking at the bus shelter, which is illegal in my city. I politely asked him to stop smoking, citing the city ordinance. He just cackled and said that if I'm so concerned about the state of my health, I should start by losing 90 pounds. FML

#19749863
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14746) - you deserved it (30024)

On 06/07/2012 at 1:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML

#19713901
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28461) - you deserved it (2150)

On 06/01/2012 at 3:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

#19710494
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26360) - you deserved it (2568) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

#19651204
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18321) - you deserved it (7525)

On 05/20/2012 at 11:03am - health - by jcdc - United States (Texas)

Today, my 20-year-old son's external hard-drive stopped working. He's crying on my shoulder now, not because of the movies, porn, work, or music he probably lost, but because of the now irretrievable complete series of Digimon that he'd collected. FML

#19629941
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17643) - you deserved it (3416)

On 05/15/2012 at 11:05pm - misc - by OytoBeAfather (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10326) - you deserved it (29898)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

#19568801
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33310) - you deserved it (9693)

On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

#19568801
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33310) - you deserved it (9693)

On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States

Today, I found out that my unemployed and very needy mother-in-law will be moving in with us soon. And during my conversation on the phone with her, she expects us to buy a house and my wife and I can "live with her." My wife agrees with all of this. FML

#19523754
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24194) - you deserved it (2118)

On 04/24/2012 at 8:08pm - love - by nofrickenway - United States (Virginia)

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

#19490705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22500) - you deserved it (4657) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm - work - by bibou2324 -

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML

#19397932
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27957) - you deserved it (3067)

On 04/02/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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