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Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41579) - you deserved it (2110)
On 05/20/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by pregnant loser apparently (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42089) - you deserved it (2240)
On 05/13/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Confused (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52715) - you deserved it (3650)
On 05/08/2013 at 10:44am - intimacy - by oops - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39856) - you deserved it (2124)
On 05/07/2013 at 4:21pm - kids - by bet a woman would've been thanked (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, I was reading and started laughing at a funny part in my book. My mom then bitched me out because she thought I was laughing at her. She called me a liar after I explained myself. Her logic? "Books aren't funny". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40212) - you deserved it (3085)
On 05/07/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by Marmarfarfar (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27115) - you deserved it (35119)
On 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm - misc - by blondie107 - United States (Texas)
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57416) - you deserved it (8146)
On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46670) - you deserved it (2747)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:16pm - love - by psycho ex (man) - Brazil
Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47846) - you deserved it (6428)
On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51251) - you deserved it (3367)
On 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by DemiRawrs - United States
Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43165) - you deserved it (10423)
On 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I had yet another class with my psychotic, conservative, uber-religious teacher. The "well-known statistic" of today? Over 90% of people who have ever watched porn end up having a divorce due to psychological damage from said porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34791) - you deserved it (4393)
On 04/29/2013 at 3:32am - intimacy - by WTHChristianSchool (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was excited for my first date in a while, with a "tall handsome business man." Turns out he "doesn't feel emotions anymore", likes getting peed on, and "doesn't do condoms." Thanks, internet dating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42441) - you deserved it (10174)
On 04/25/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51755) - you deserved it (10772)
On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States
Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39287) - you deserved it (5008)
On 04/24/2013 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Monday 20 May 2013
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