Lustuu

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Offline (the 03/03/2016 at 12:00am)

Lustuu

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 17 December 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3750
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Lustuu's page activity

Visits<b>_Peppermint_</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 6:12am<b>xXSunshineXx1</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 5:05pm<b>monapm</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 10:51pm<b>BigBootyButch</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 10:48pm<b>Anti_Sora</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 4:12pm<b>DragonDude</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 8:23pm<b>draftskink</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 11:26pm<b>AlexRice</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 4:40pm<b>KeithTheGreat</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 12:00am<b>ogoodrich</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 12:16am<b>EnigMind</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 4:48pm<b>zingline89</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 12:02pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 7:06pm<b>bored359</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 12:08am<b>saocrates</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 6:06am<b>DoubleDie7</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 4:32pm<b>JBChristian</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 10:51pm<b>bensparks</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 7:44pm

Lustuu's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Lustuu's badges

Lustuu's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from a four month stay in Africa, where I managed to avoid suffering any serious illness. Some hours after my first meal back at home, I got food poisoning. FML

by unlucky / 04/20/2013 at 5:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

by thanks gramps / 04/19/2013 at 3:27am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML

by Flora / 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

by xx-look-at-xx / 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2013 at 12:28am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML

by AAMBC4 / 04/09/2013 at 6:30am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got called an "evil Nazi bitch" because I let a customer know that this is the last day our store will have free plastic bags. FML

by steppppphhhhhh / 04/09/2013 at 4:18am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2013 at 6:58pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Love

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god / 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm / Singapore / Health

Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML

by icanthearyou / 04/04/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, while shopping for a birthday present for my size 0 friend, I picked out a pair of pants for her. When paying, the cashier looked me up and down and said, "Well, you're pretty optimistic aren't you?" FML

by NotASize0 / 04/04/2013 at 11:12am / Denmark / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my wedding day. Three people showed up. My mom, my dad, and the priest. FML

by nobodylovesme / 04/04/2013 at 2:46am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

by haku4u / 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried to return used toys and penis pumps. Even though you can't return any items, it's still an unfortunately common occurrence. The semen in these particular toys, however, is not. All of them began shouting at me for not refunding them. FML

by ohgodwhyyoufreaks / 04/01/2013 at 7:57am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy