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Lustuu's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to put my little sister to bed. Usually my mom sings her a lullaby before she puts her to sleep, so I did too. After I finished the song, my sister looked me dead in the eyes and said, "This is why I tell people we aren't related." FML
by NextAmericanIdol? / 08/08/2013 at 12:09am / United States (Maryland) / Kids
Today, I noticed that my new shampoo had an unfamiliar pink color to it. After some investigation, I found a dead mouse that had apparently cut itself on the bottle pump. I've been washing my hair with mouse blood. FML
by shampoomice / 08/07/2013 at 12:34pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 12:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/22/2013 at 3:08pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, a woman came up to the snack bar and ordered a pretzel with no salt. When I served her the food, she angrily complained about it having no salt, followed by her throwing the whole thing in my face. FML
by YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK THE CUSTOMER / 07/20/2013 at 1:47pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, after a haircut, I walked to the cash register, handed the hairdresser a $20 bill and said, "Keep the change." He looked at me with a blank expression and replied, "The haircut costs 25 dollars." FML
by RickTheBoy / 07/10/2013 at 8:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML
by Angry and Confused / 06/29/2013 at 5:55am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML
by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Love
Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML
by datgirl92 / 05/24/2013 at 10:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by joeidk / 05/11/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by stephscort / 05/11/2013 at 9:32am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by tdrtnlz / 05/11/2013 at 2:25am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love
by Bridget / 05/11/2013 at 12:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
- Today, I found out my girlfriend has a beastiality fetish...After letting her dogsit for a week. FML Today, i found out that my boyfriend had slept with my best friend. Not only did they keep it away… Today, my 8 year old got up to go to the bathroom. A few moments later, I heard items crashing onto…