Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Lucious306

Search for a member

Lucious306

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 950
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Lucious306 : Well what can I say? I aim to please...

Lucious306's page activity

Visits<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 8:20pm<b>hailstorm187</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 4:24am<b>ninjanick1911</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 1:18pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 11:01pm<b>Redthetrainer</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 11:27pm<b>rallets</b> - the 07/11/2012 at 5:21pm

Lucious306's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Lucious306's badges

Lucious306's favorite FMLs

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

#19870376
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30692) - you deserved it (5085)

On 06/30/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I realized I say "sorry" more than anything else during sex with my girlfriend. FML

#19869749
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24480) - you deserved it (8744)

On 06/30/2012 at 2:21am - intimacy - by mpsteve137 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

#19864989
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15545) - you deserved it (27580)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:47am - intimacy - by bob (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML

#18593326
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29108) - you deserved it (15948)

On 12/23/2011 at 10:22pm - love - by bigmistake - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

#18190231
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43672) - you deserved it (7925)

On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

#17113139
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14497) - you deserved it (63526)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

#16168666
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110716) - you deserved it (15428)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

#15538339
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33354) - you deserved it (4809)

On 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by -_- - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I have ever or would ever fake an orgasm. I assured him that I wouldn't, when he has actually never given me one. I didn't have the heart to tell him. FML

#13260698
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10494) - you deserved it (32645)

On 09/30/2010 at 5:56am - intimacy - by ohyaknow (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

#12626936
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9341) - you deserved it (76676)

On 08/19/2010 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by captainocd - United States (Texas)

Today, I was riding the subway when a beautiful topless girl walked into my car and sat directly in front of me. Then, the train stopped abruptly and I banged my head. The girl was gone and I realized it had all been a dream. Then I realized I was supposed to get off 17 stops ago. FML

#12544003
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17821) - you deserved it (37324)

On 08/15/2010 at 6:31pm - intimacy - by Peekaman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after about a month with no sex, my girlfriend told me to come up to her room and began kissing me passionately. She got me down to my underwear before informing me that she had Spanish homework left. To make things better, upon finishing up, she went straight to sleep. FML

#9672080
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29850) - you deserved it (5268)

On 04/06/2010 at 3:10am - intimacy - by BluBaller (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I drove the six hours to LA to attend my Uncle's birthday party. When I tried to get off at the exit, it took me two hours just to get onto the street where the club was. By the time I showed up, the party was already over, so I ended up going to a Denny's. I drove eight hours for a Denny's. FML

#6898693
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23899) - you deserved it (4108)

On 12/23/2009 at 5:24am - misc - by BeautifulDisastre (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

#6583595
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22120) - you deserved it (3159)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by Silent - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML

#6480683
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8572) - you deserved it (43115)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: