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Lucious306

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Lucious306

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 998
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Lucious306 : Well what can I say? I aim to please...

Lucious306's page activity

Visits<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 8:20pm<b>hailstorm187</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 4:24am<b>ninjanick1911</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 1:18pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 11:01pm<b>Redthetrainer</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 11:27pm<b>rallets</b> - the 07/11/2012 at 5:21pm

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Lucious306's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking to school with my earphones in, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was shocked, and whirled around to hit him in the crotch. I soon realized he was just trying to return the commuter pass I'd dropped at the station. FML

#20073029
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6088) - you deserved it (29414)

On 09/15/2012 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

#20070700
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30697) - you deserved it (7448)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML

Today, I woke up to a bunch of email notifications confirming all the drunken purchases I made last night on Amazon. Most of them can't be cancelled. This is the fourth time in a month. An "ironic" wolf-howling-at-the-moon t-shirt anyone? FML

#20055119
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5334) - you deserved it (31048)

On 09/03/2012 at 1:24am - money - by DrunkenShopper (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing some CoD online, when I realised I'd started humming an annoyingly catchy Bieber tune. Before I could come to my senses and pull out my mic, a bunch of my teammates started sarcastically singing along. FML

#20051062
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6934) - you deserved it (25339)

On 08/31/2012 at 3:20pm - misc - by bieberyoulittleSHIT (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

#19938552
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37265) - you deserved it (4460)

On 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm - intimacy - by checkup (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I got mugged in broad daylight, in a park, by a teenage girl. To top it off, I'm a grown man. FML

#19918420
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22948) - you deserved it (8566)

On 07/10/2012 at 11:27am - misc - by Username (man) - United States

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

#19917515
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13150) - you deserved it (24673)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

#19910380
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18600) - you deserved it (6725)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29910) - you deserved it (3578)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33140) - you deserved it (4787)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML

#19875784
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7512) - you deserved it (24091)

On 07/01/2012 at 11:59am - animals - by mommabuser -

Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML

#19873262
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33313) - you deserved it (10034)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by say my name -

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

#19873141
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18339) - you deserved it (2113)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

#19873048
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36531) - you deserved it (1680)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -



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