About Lozzyf : Lori, fourteen, female, emo/goth, currently heartbroken over my first boyfriend, and obsessed with English class... Yeah...
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Lozzyf's favorite FMLs
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
by Anonymous / 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm / United States / Work
Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML
by Yuuucky / 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother followed me to work to see what I got up to. I'm a fitness instructor in a ground floor gym that has big windows overlooking the street. She stood outside and waved at me for half an hour, while I tried to concentrate on teaching a visibly amused class. FML
by Username / 09/26/2011 at 12:28am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by lexyloo / 09/25/2011 at 9:52pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I bought a UV light so I could detect cat pee, since I was sure my cat was relieving herself on the carpet. I decided to try it out in the living room first. Nearly half the room lit up like a Christmas tree. FML
by Anonymous / 09/25/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
by Anonymous / 09/25/2011 at 6:26am / Singapore / Love
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years said she was leaving me because recently I wasn't making much money, and was playing too many video games. I recently got a raise at my job of 5 years. The job? Testing video games. FML
by Eric Moore / 09/25/2011 at 4:12am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 7:32pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
Today, my mom and I heard a thump from inside the coat closet. I opened the door, and something fell on me. My mom, who was behind me, screamed, closed the laundry room door, and ran into the garage, leaving me to face the alleged attacker. It was the vacuum. FML
by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 3:22am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
Today, I was sent home from work early because of structural issues. I walked in on my unemployed boyfriend cuddling another woman on the couch. When I confronted them, he freaked out and kept trying to convince me that I was dreaming. I don't know what I ever saw in this loser. FML
Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by ThisBlows / 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
by cjy152 / 09/21/2011 at 10:44am / United States (Ohio) / Love
- Today, it’s exam day in Sweden. Yesterday, I prepared three fountain pens and six cartridges. The… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…