Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LowExpectations

Search for a member

LowExpectations
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 422
  • Number of comments : 196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About LowExpectations : "All humans are inferior in the eyes of Morbo. "

LowExpectations's last visitors

EnslavedPussycat86WilliamMurderfacMynameislinhiSoniawanted_2_wantILoveMyIpad1234Dr0n3mattjamt

LowExpectations's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of LowExpectations's badges

LowExpectations's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

#21113687
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41531) - you deserved it (5848)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML

#21111822
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35857) - you deserved it (3393)

On 04/13/2014 at 10:51am - work - by worker666 (woman) - United States

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML

#21102946
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44578) - you deserved it (5097)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:10pm - kids - by I Have Failed (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

#21102694
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38124) - you deserved it (8651)

On 04/02/2014 at 7:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I have pink eye. Four weeks ago I had scabies. I'm an elementary school teacher, and I'm apparently under attack from biological weapons: my students. FML

#21102371
93 comments

Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML

#21099986
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41041) - you deserved it (5693)

On 03/30/2014 at 6:04am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

#21099196
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42807) - you deserved it (3404)

On 03/29/2014 at 6:34am - work - by bringthemback (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I learned that most teenagers would rather grab free candy from the broken vending machine than help the guy stuck underneath it get free. FML

#21093947
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39792) - you deserved it (4501)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML

#21088206
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40242) - you deserved it (3293)

On 03/16/2014 at 2:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML

#21086220
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38331) - you deserved it (3235)

On 03/14/2014 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on a bus. When I awoke suddenly, half of the bus was staring at me, with some people chuckling and smiling. I have no idea what I did. FML

#21084790
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40994) - you deserved it (4694)

On 03/12/2014 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. He dumped me because apparently now there is "too much competition". FML

#21081103
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39774) - you deserved it (11149)

On 03/08/2014 at 4:23am - love - by biwhat (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38334) - you deserved it (8502)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)

Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML

#21074161
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41918) - you deserved it (11514)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

#21070515
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37259) - you deserved it (5046)

On 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Author (man) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: