About LowExpectations : "All humans are inferior in the eyes of Morbo. "
LowExpectations's FML badges
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
LowExpectations's favorite FMLs
by HomeAlone / 04/24/2016 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while walking down the street I thought it would be funny to moon a crowd of old people taking a photo, in a few seconds a couple of them started pointing in my direction... Turns out they were pointing at the car that ran me over shortly after. FML
by MasterMcrib / 04/17/2016 at 4:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by piss off / 04/08/2016 at 6:05pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, my boyfriend told me on the phone that he thought we were too poor for value-pack bacon. When I got home, I found he had gone to work leaving two lights and the TV on, and that the shower was running. He said, "Turning things on and off takes too much time! Who cares about money?" FML
by bridget1989 / 03/11/2016 at 5:03am / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Money
Today, after trying unsuccessfully for three or so years to have a baby with my wife, my broodiness has gotten so bad that when I saw a couple with their daughter at the bus stop, I briefly had a daydream where I shot them in the head and took their daughter home to raise as my own. FML
by DesperateToBeDad / 12/31/2015 at 6:57am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Kids
Today, I wrote my boyfriend a love letter during class and told him to read it when he got home. He texted me later asking me why I gave him my school assignment. I must have handed the love letter in to my teacher. FML
by helpme / 09/25/2015 at 9:46am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Love
by TheLoneSoul / 09/13/2015 at 10:22am / France / Love
Today, I decided to bike to work. I normally forget the key to my lock, so I leave it out back and hope that nobody takes it, and nobody does. I finally remembered my lock key so I chained it up. After my 7 hour shift, I walk to the back only to find the lock had been cut, and my bike was gone. FML
by Blue_Heart / 09/05/2015 at 2:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by pudh / 08/05/2015 at 7:08am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML
by hfs palm / 06/21/2015 at 5:37pm / United States / Kids
Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML
by Anonymous / 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by bleue / 04/23/2015 at 8:27am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids
Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2015 at 10:24am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Metallurge / 03/12/2015 at 11:02pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Transportation
Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML
by Anonymous / 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me…