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LowExpectations

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LowExpectations

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2724
  • Number of comments : 274
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About LowExpectations : "All humans are inferior in the eyes of Morbo. "

LowExpectations's page activity

Visits<b>dezman2000</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 1:52am<b>wordygirl</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 7:14pm<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 6:33pm<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 11:06pm<b>CripplingAutism</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 9:53pm<b>immaloser95</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 9:51pm<b>MDoremis</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 6:25pm<b>mrsorange21</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 7:00am<b>milehigh52</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 2:38am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 9:49pm<b>4ddtnof40801</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 6:57am<b>danthehuman</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 11:31pm<b>Theglc20</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 2:24pm<b>emeraldisle</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 12:19am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 10:16pm<b>papygeorges</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 9:08pm<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 12:18am<b>llalala</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 2:39am

Fucked!<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 12:33am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 4:16am

LowExpectations's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You have thumbed 5000 comments.

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LowExpectations's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. It got hot and intense and we were really into it, until she blurted out, "Oh baby, rub your penis against mine". FML

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

#21429657
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25969) - you deserved it (2303)

On 06/21/2015 at 5:37pm - kids - by hfs palm - United States

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

#21428778
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20949) - you deserved it (12938)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

#21398419
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28306) - you deserved it (4017) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/23/2015 at 8:27am - kids - by bleue - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML

#21397889
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33149) - you deserved it (2859)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was so hungry when I finished work that I grabbed some chips to eat on the bus home. The guy who sat next to me spat in them as he left to get off. FML

#21373490
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30903) - you deserved it (2843)

On 03/12/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by Metallurge - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
467 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44501) - you deserved it (4026)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

#21355550
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34702) - you deserved it (3745)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML

#21331631
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39149) - you deserved it (2979)

On 01/05/2015 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by innocent (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML

#21321894
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34148) - you deserved it (6246)

On 12/22/2014 at 3:05am - love - by ScottyB - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to explain to a customer that 50% off a $50 item did not make the item free. FML

#21307823
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38253) - you deserved it (2512)

On 11/28/2014 at 10:36pm - misc - by idiots - United States (Texas)

Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured, "Eh, a little bit more won't kill him". I was wrong. FML

#21303699
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31707) - you deserved it (9187)

On 11/22/2014 at 2:22am - animals - by liishax3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

#21301827
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39190) - you deserved it (4621)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:27am - intimacy - by jigglypluff (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

#21290572
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37481) - you deserved it (4445)

On 11/02/2014 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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