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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, "This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40487) - you deserved it (4332)
On 12/08/2010 at 9:34am - intimacy - by fme (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10333) - you deserved it (16276)
On 12/06/2010 at 12:03pm - misc - by bribreeeeeezyfreshhh (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22966) - you deserved it (2132)
On 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by nothingdoes (woman) - United States
Today, I was on an airplane that was experiencing some turbulence. Feeling anxious, I reached over and grabbed my husband's hand for comfort. He then said, "Why are you scared of dying? You're not even pretty." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32271) - you deserved it (2782)
On 10/16/2010 at 2:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I noticed that my wife changed her status on Facebook to "widow" and a lot of strange guys commented saying stuff like "Finally." Last I checked, I'm not dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35496) - you deserved it (2473)
On 10/07/2010 at 6:10am - love - by Alex - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37649) - you deserved it (3647)
On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42492) - you deserved it (2623)
On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend who's sick, he told me he felt sleepy due to meds and was going to bed. I jokingly said, "you're going to call your other girlfriend, aren't you?" There was silence before I heard, "you weren't supposed to find out like this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39539) - you deserved it (2935)
On 09/16/2010 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, after telling me his other girlfriend is pregnant, my boyfriend said we should stay together so I could help out with the baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40560) - you deserved it (3181)
On 09/15/2010 at 2:02pm - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31748) - you deserved it (10673)
On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31748) - you deserved it (10673)
On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31472) - you deserved it (4348)
On 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm - intimacy - by nickim756 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, at work, an elderly lady came up to the cash register with a flyer in her hand, and asked if we had a certain item. I told her we did not have any left, and we would be getting more next week and if she wanted, I could give her a rain check. She hit me in the face with her purse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21261) - you deserved it (1749)
Today, I had a nice, open chat with my mother. I accidentally let slip that I'm a nymphomaniac. She accidentally let slip that my dad is bad in bed. I don't think either of us will be chatting so openly for awhile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16967) - you deserved it (6611)
On 09/12/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ewmomew (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my family and I argued whether getting a period or boner in the middle of class was worse. At the dinner table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20925) - you deserved it (9753)
On 09/10/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Me - United States (Washington)
Friday 24 May 2013
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