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LordAres

Offline (the 09/09/2014 at 5:39pm) | Search for a member

LordAres

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 262
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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LordAres's page activity

Visits<b>tayaknight</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 4:48am<b>ileenefudge</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 10:45pm<b>ilytyvm</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 1:48am<b>bananaguru123</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 11:59am

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LordAres's favorite FMLs

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48756) - you deserved it (6373)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75008) - you deserved it (8779)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24025) - you deserved it (2791)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

#19822088
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27857) - you deserved it (4249)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML

#17628790
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22429) - you deserved it (13136)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:02am - health - by Bigpoppa0507 - Canada

Today, my little girl spoke her first word. It was ''Daddy''. Daddy left before she was born and she has never met him before. FML

#14368854
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42639) - you deserved it (4438)

On 12/28/2010 at 11:47am - kids - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, I realized the nicest thing my fiancé has said to me all month was that I have "very suckable titties." FML

#13806483
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25271) - you deserved it (5272)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

#12953032
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52125) - you deserved it (7850)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14605) - you deserved it (54646)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized that my husband has a video games addiction. I am currently pregnant; he brought us to the same country he's in so we can finally live together, only for me to witness him being glued to his laptop all day and all night playing WoW. He's forgotten I even existed. FML

#8510953
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25772) - you deserved it (5193)

On 02/21/2010 at 8:36am - misc - by sasquatch21 (woman) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)

Today, my daughter learned that if she rips a toy out of its package in front of a store employee, mommy will be forced to buy it. She now has two new toys today. FML

#7273590
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30918) - you deserved it (9767)

On 01/11/2010 at 3:09am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has to pretend to have another boyfriend who is not me because her siblings and cousins do not accept me. FML

#6861780
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26114) - you deserved it (2652)

On 12/21/2009 at 7:13am - love - by theraarman - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend told me that every time he has sex with me he thinks about some mutant bunny chick from "Final Fantasy." FML

#6268793
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19655) - you deserved it (3494)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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