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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 23 August 1980 (36 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12619
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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LongRangedShot's page activity

Visits<b>bandeek</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 7:23am<b>AssassinD3</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 10:23pm<b>SydneyGrey</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 3:06am<b>Axel5238</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 1:24pm<b>00177</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 8:39am

LongRangedShot's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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LongRangedShot's favorite FMLs

Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML

by NewBride / 08/14/2013 at 1:39pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing / 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 12:26am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

by What. / 08/13/2013 at 8:08pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Money

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my mom asked me, once again, if my girlfriend of almost a year is just a cover up for being gay. FML

by Zanovitch / 08/13/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 12:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML

by cookiemonster / 08/13/2013 at 12:10pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML

by hairless by death / 08/13/2013 at 12:07pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was eating with my grandma and her sister, who don't get along. I went to the bathroom for just 2 minutes, only to come back to find pancakes everywhere and our plates smashed on the ground. They got into a "little argument". FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 12:01pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom got a cat. I'm allergic to cats, so I politely asked my mom why she got it. Her response: "I want you to finally want to move out." I turned eighteen two weeks ago. FML

by skaterboy / 08/13/2013 at 11:36am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, I walked past a girl giving out leaflets for a nightclub. She ignored me the first two times. I dismissed it cynically, thinking she was only giving them to good looking young people. The third time she gave one to a balding 40-year old guy with his pre-teen kid. She still ignored me. FML

by martyn28 / 08/13/2013 at 10:55am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 4:49am / Kids