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Today, I was going through my mom's old yearbook. There was a page long note from her friend talking about my mother's crazy drunk sex stories and describing multiple sexual encounters she had while on a pool table. I am deeply scarred forever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18611) - you deserved it (7178)
On 12/06/2010 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I lied when my therapist asked why I preferred Tuesday morning appointments. It's actually because World of Warcraft is down for regularly scheduled maintenance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8352) - you deserved it (28925)
On 11/30/2010 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27992) - you deserved it (3537)
Today, I confessed to my best friend that I love him and always have. He whispered to himself, "Why do the fat chicks always want me?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33002) - you deserved it (6346)
On 11/17/2010 at 3:03am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my fiancé admitted to me that the only reason he's attracted to me and asked me to marry him is because I look and act like his favorite anime character. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25034) - you deserved it (3712)
On 11/14/2010 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48278) - you deserved it (2289)
On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa
Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22235) - you deserved it (3513)
On 11/14/2010 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18349) - you deserved it (4009)
On 11/12/2010 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, at work I was looking for my lost wallet. After hours of looking I gave up and went home. The wallet then shows up in my mail box with an envelope marked "To the asshole." I opened the letter and it was filled with poop. My wallet too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22754) - you deserved it (4002)
On 11/12/2010 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, at work I was looking for my lost wallet. After hours of looking I gave up and went home. The wallet then shows up in my mail box with an envelope marked "To the asshole." I opened the letter and it was filled with poop. My wallet too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22754) - you deserved it (4002)
On 11/12/2010 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22791) - you deserved it (3034)
On 11/10/2010 at 11:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Cordoba)
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After about minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40593) - you deserved it (13621)
On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33253) - you deserved it (6368)
On 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by single (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32177) - you deserved it (5485)
On 11/09/2010 at 1:32pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I jokingly asked my husband if he had ever cheated on me. In the most sincere and honest tone, he said "if I ever have or ever will, there's no way you would ever find out. I love you too much to lose you", and gave me a hug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27669) - you deserved it (6041)
On 11/03/2010 at 2:40am - intimacy - by spockswifey - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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