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Lone_Wolf_099

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Lone_Wolf_099

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4045
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Lone_Wolf_099's page activity

Visits<b>sspence</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 2:24pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 4:06am<b>hexo21</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 4:37am<b>plantaseedy</b> - the 10/11/2011 at 6:38pm

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Lone_Wolf_099's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

#16972351
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28746) - you deserved it (13440)

On 07/04/2011 at 12:09pm - health - by hero to zero - United States (New York)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38851) - you deserved it (15616)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of something I said 2 years ago, as a joke. I guess she took a while to get it. FML

#16395878
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41515) - you deserved it (7557)

On 05/29/2011 at 12:41am - love - by Username - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML

#15379416
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52868) - you deserved it (7780)

On 03/19/2011 at 6:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, someone rear-ended me while I was on my way home. I was extremely upset and I called my boyfriend for comfort and to help inspect the damage. After taking a good look at the car, he said, "Damn, if only you fucked this hard." FML

#15366691
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34630) - you deserved it (8952)

On 03/18/2011 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by emm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered that the lovely, hunger-inducing smell that's been lingering around the office lately is from the local animal crematory. I've been wistfully inhaling the stench of burning cats, dogs, and other various animals. FML

#15366676
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30644) - you deserved it (6411)

On 03/18/2011 at 12:10pm - work - by B-rent - United States

Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML

#15364776
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32881) - you deserved it (9723)

On 03/18/2011 at 7:28am - misc - by karmavictim -

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18224) - you deserved it (82868)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed a ridiculously hot girl near me, checking me out. I was about to say something charmingly funny when I suddenly got a whiff of onions. Turns out she had turned around simply to catch the essence of her own fart. FML

#14925146
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31707) - you deserved it (4245)

On 02/10/2011 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mum got an electric car. It's so quiet that we could hear the bones of my cat break as we reversed over it on the driveway. FML

#14919566
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54459) - you deserved it (7763)

On 02/10/2011 at 5:58am - animals - by flattened -

Today, I was walking in the park with my boyfriend of 3 years. He stopped and knelt down in front of me. I started to panic, then he told me to calm down, my shoe was untied. FML

#14908871
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30220) - you deserved it (12155)

On 02/09/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by maddie! - United States (New York)

Today, I was told by my mom that I'm a terrible person because I won't help my brother get a girlfriend. He's gay, but won't tell her because he thinks it's hilarious when she yells at me. FML

#14353774
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34184) - you deserved it (4405)

On 12/27/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by Username -

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

#14345671
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10868) - you deserved it (24415)

On 12/26/2010 at 12:59pm - health - by person - Jordan (Amman Governorate)

Today, my wife thinks I will agree to anything she says if she just pleasures me orally. I now found out, she is correct. FML

#14341625
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9578) - you deserved it (36303)

On 12/26/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I gave my wife a $900 necklace as a special Christmas gift. She gave me a set of Star Wars pajamas. As it turns out, I was more excited to wear my gift than she was to wear hers. FML

#14330931
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27549) - you deserved it (5176)

On 12/25/2010 at 2:31am - love - by ima nerd - United States (Alabama)



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