Lone_Wolf_099

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Lone_Wolf_099

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6811
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Lone_Wolf_099's page activity

Visits<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 6:17am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 12:23pm<b>izkiz</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 3:21pm<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 5:35pm<b>1daniellarter</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 7:28am<b>sspence</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 2:24pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 4:06am<b>hexo21</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 4:37am<b>plantaseedy</b> - the 10/11/2011 at 6:38pm

Lone_Wolf_099's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Lone_Wolf_099's badges

Lone_Wolf_099's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working retail when a group of older gentlemen came in looking for a good sound system. I showed them a top-range system and gushed about it in detail, trying to close the sale. One of them snorted and said, "See Dave, girls like her are the reason ball gags were invented." FML

by sandi519 / 03/12/2012 at 11:10pm / United States / Work

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

by yamsterr / 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United States / Love

Today, I was discussing the possibility of other life in the universe with my friend. She said the universe isn't big enough for it to be possible, and that we would know about it already, because "there are only 8 planets in the universe." FML

by daninalani / 03/11/2012 at 6:37pm / United States (California) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at work at a gas station kiosk, a man requested a carton of cigarettes. We keep our cigarettes on a high shelf. I'm short and very large chested so I have to jump in order to reach the carton. He said, "I only come here for the entertainment" and left without purchasing his cigarettes. FML

Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2012 at 8:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend came over to my parents' house for dinner. My dad made Holocaust jokes the entire time. My boyfriend is Jewish. FML

by daughterofanazi / 02/08/2012 at 12:17am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I tried to treat a cut on my butt hole with Neosporin. I couldn't see it properly, so I had to use the front-facing camera on my phone. FML

by 11niko / 02/01/2012 at 11:57pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

by Rachal / 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I realized the universal beauty that can be found in a pancake. I'm not sure if I have reached spiritual enlightenment, or if I should have my head examined. FML

by Dutchee / 01/23/2012 at 6:27am / Netherlands (Friesland) / Health

Today, while riding back from a weekend away with my boyfriend, we crashed his motorbike, resulting in us getting thrown over a barbed wire fence into a forest. I woke up in hospital. Apparently, in his adrenaline rush, he climbed back on his bike and continued his trip, forgetting all about me. FML

by superficialheart / 01/21/2012 at 6:59am / China / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML

by iheartmorons / 01/14/2012 at 9:31am / United Kingdom (London) / Love

Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML

by iheartmorons / 01/14/2012 at 9:31am / United Kingdom (London) / Love

Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML

by anonymous / 01/14/2012 at 6:42am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

by ThatOneGirl646 / 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm / United States (Arizona) / Health