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Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try something new. I ended up tied to the bed, and my girlfriend discovered how ticklish I am. Worst 3 hours of my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27918) - you deserved it (6179)
On 11/30/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by me - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8493) - you deserved it (28283)
On 11/28/2011 at 6:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30600) - you deserved it (7014)
On 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25278) - you deserved it (11770)
On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25566) - you deserved it (2390)
On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27759) - you deserved it (406)
On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27756) - you deserved it (4475)
On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my daughter in law sent me another romantic text that was meant for her husband. Not only can't she spell for shit, the clichés she uses are horrifyingly embarrassing. The fact this keeps happening makes me want to slam her head in the oven. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22357) - you deserved it (3106)
On 11/12/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6545) - you deserved it (79151)
On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my dad made me quit my online school classes and go back to public school, because apparently when I'm on the computer, it makes his video games lag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28167) - you deserved it (3920)
On 11/09/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by exiledliscense - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I got shot at. Not by police, but by a hunter. While at work. Driving a garbage truck. How the hell a hunter mistook an orange-clad garbageman in a truck for a deer is beyond me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24534) - you deserved it (1850)
On 11/07/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by lprocter1982 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24107) - you deserved it (14900)
On 11/06/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by wellthisisawkward80 - United States
Today, while I was shopping, I saw my old friend from high school. After a bit of talking, I ended up giving her my phone number. I wrote it on an old receipt. Little did I remember, the receipt was from when I bought lube and condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12167) - you deserved it (24913)
On 11/03/2011 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by snownerd - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in the dryer and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden, I heard scratching and whining coming from the dryer. My cat probably hates me now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11751) - you deserved it (24403)
On 11/01/2011 at 3:02pm - animals - by benji - United States (Michigan)
Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9850) - you deserved it (49749)
On 11/01/2011 at 9:22am - health - by loves the smell of burning flesh - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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