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Today, at work at a gas station kiosk, a man requested a carton of cigarettes. We keep our cigarettes on a high shelf. I'm short and very large chested so I have to jump in order to reach the carton. He said, "I only come here for the entertainment" and left without purchasing his cigarettes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21654) - you deserved it (2463)
On 03/11/2012 at 8:38am - work - by aprilmay91 - United States
Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22946) - you deserved it (1762)
On 02/12/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend came over to my parents' house for dinner. My dad made Holocaust jokes the entire time. My boyfriend is Jewish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27472) - you deserved it (3642)
On 02/08/2012 at 12:17am - love - by daughterofanazi (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I tried to treat a cut on my butt hole with Neosporin. I couldn't see it properly, so I had to use the front-facing camera on my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14399) - you deserved it (4503)
On 02/01/2012 at 11:57pm - health - by 11niko (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16063) - you deserved it (7260)
On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I realized the universal beauty that can be found in a pancake. I'm not sure if I have reached spiritual enlightenment, or if I should have my head examined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12764) - you deserved it (4848)
On 01/23/2012 at 6:27am - health - by Dutchee - Netherlands (Friesland)
Today, while riding back from a weekend away with my boyfriend, we crashed his motorbike, resulting in us getting thrown over a barbed wire fence into a forest. I woke up in hospital. Apparently, in his adrenaline rush, he climbed back on his bike and continued his trip, forgetting all about me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29567) - you deserved it (1994)
On 01/21/2012 at 6:59am - misc - by superficialheart - China
Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17668) - you deserved it (4402)
On 01/14/2012 at 9:31am - love - by iheartmorons - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17668) - you deserved it (4402)
On 01/14/2012 at 9:31am - love - by iheartmorons - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19125) - you deserved it (2326)
On 01/14/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10853) - you deserved it (31287)
On 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm - misc - by ThatOneGirl646 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27073) - you deserved it (4424)
On 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43590) - you deserved it (7674)
On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40938) - you deserved it (5769)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24461) - you deserved it (2850)
On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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