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Lone_Wolf_099

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Lone_Wolf_099
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2865
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Lone_Wolf_099's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML

#19589899
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18835) - you deserved it (5627)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

#19587857
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18829) - you deserved it (7569)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML

#19586113
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27524) - you deserved it (4463)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

#19576314
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15526) - you deserved it (5638)

On 05/05/2012 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML

#19564569
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26371) - you deserved it (4499)

On 05/02/2012 at 6:06pm - intimacy - by S12Sophia (woman) - France

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

#19514689
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24694) - you deserved it (3903)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I realized that both my husband and son refer to me as "the bitch." FML

#19510821
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14098) - you deserved it (17935)

On 04/22/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by stoggie96 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML

#19508691
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7004) - you deserved it (59363)

On 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm - misc - by Jenn P (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML

#19424336
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6270) - you deserved it (44666)

On 04/07/2012 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my wife and I went to our friend's house to play some pool. While playing, a Cicada started to fly towards my face, so I flipped my pool stick over and swatted at it with the fat end of the stick. I hit the bug. However, with the skinny side I hit myself in the snow-globes. FML

#19409453
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7186) - you deserved it (16587)

On 04/04/2012 at 10:50pm - misc - by Chris (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while at work, I found a dead dog in a freezer. Turns out it's been in there for over 3 years. FML

#19404286
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24201) - you deserved it (1820)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:27pm - animals - by Scarred (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

#19388939
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19938) - you deserved it (8944)

On 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States

Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML

#19369663
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19056) - you deserved it (1625)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by yelyah - United States (Illinois)

Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's fascination with them. I did some research and wound up reading H.P. Lovecraft. On the upside, I can now pee more easily. On the downside, it's likely to be in my pants. FML

#19340135
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13223) - you deserved it (3482)

On 03/24/2012 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I realized I've been confusing scenes from The Lord of the Rings with American history. FML

#19339659
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6093) - you deserved it (21058)

On 03/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Avery - United States (California)



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