Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
This member hasn't filled in the description.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Taday mah boyfriend cuffed mah legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. fat FML
Today, mah boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere mah cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having putted mah cat outside. big fat FML
Today, it was mah wedding day. With mah best friend as the priest, she askd, "Do you looool take this man to be yur lawfully weddd husband?" After saying I do, she then turnd to him an askd, "Do you want to bang mah friend?" Everyone laughd, except mah already disapproving father. FML
Today... my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon... but couldn't rememberhat else went into them... so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home... my wife very slowly and sarcastically explainedhat BLT stands for. FML
my wife and I went to our friend's house to play some pool. While playing, a Cicada startd to fly toward mah face, so I flippd mah pool stick over and swattd at it with the fat end of the stick. I hit the bug. However, with the skinny side I hit myself in the snow-globes. FML
TODAY, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO MAH BOYFRIEND,HEN HE SAID "I LOVE YOU, BABY." I TOLD HIM TO GO DEEPER, BUT INSTEAD OF DOING SO, HE DECIDED TO COMPLETELY KILL THE MOOD BY STOPPING AND SAYING IT AGAIN IN A BARRY WHITE TYPE VOICE. FML
Today, I started ma researc project on orror stories and people's fascination wit tem !! I did some researc and wound up reading H.P !! Lovecraft !! On te upside, I can now pee more easily !! On te downside, it's likely to be looool in ma pants !! FML
Today, I was chatting to a nice grl at the mall, an I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management . She said they have no email address, an I replid that I meant an actual letter . "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet . FML
Friday 27 March 2015