Lone_Wolf_099

Search for a member

Lone_Wolf_099

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6827
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Lone_Wolf_099's page activity

Visits<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 6:17am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 12:23pm<b>izkiz</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 3:21pm<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 5:35pm<b>1daniellarter</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 7:28am<b>sspence</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 2:24pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 4:06am<b>hexo21</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 4:37am<b>plantaseedy</b> - the 10/11/2011 at 6:38pm

Lone_Wolf_099's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Lone_Wolf_099's badges

Lone_Wolf_099's favorite FMLs

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

by me / 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML

by N / 05/07/2012 at 5:51am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 8:07am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML

by S12Sophia / 05/02/2012 at 6:06pm / France / Intimacy

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

by gottalovefriends / 04/23/2012 at 12:04am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, I realized that both my husband and son refer to me as "the bitch." FML

by stoggie96 / 04/22/2012 at 11:34am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML

by Jenn P / 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2012 at 3:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife and I went to our friend's house to play some pool. While playing, a Cicada started to fly towards my face, so I flipped my pool stick over and swatted at it with the fat end of the stick. I hit the bug. However, with the skinny side I hit myself in the snow-globes. FML

by Chris / 04/04/2012 at 10:50pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work, I found a dead dog in a freezer. Turns out it's been in there for over 3 years. FML

by Scarred / 04/03/2012 at 11:27pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

by anonymous / 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML

by yelyah / 03/29/2012 at 12:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's fascination with them. I did some research and wound up reading H.P. Lovecraft. On the upside, I can now pee more easily. On the downside, it's likely to be in my pants. FML

by Anonymous / 03/24/2012 at 6:05pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized I've been confusing scenes from The Lord of the Rings with American history. FML

by Avery / 03/24/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML

by S. Michaels / 03/14/2012 at 11:17am / United States / Miscellaneous