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Lone_Wolf_099

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Lone_Wolf_099

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4013
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Lone_Wolf_099's page activity

Visits<b>sspence</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 2:24pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 4:06am<b>hexo21</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 4:37am<b>plantaseedy</b> - the 10/11/2011 at 6:38pm

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Lone_Wolf_099's favorite FMLs

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30815) - you deserved it (65612)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69289) - you deserved it (4238)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63335) - you deserved it (14426)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

#20688489
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57372) - you deserved it (3947)

On 05/27/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by scared-straight - United States

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

#20667353
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50364) - you deserved it (8712)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML

#20644913
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45596) - you deserved it (6106)

On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50127) - you deserved it (7077)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60529) - you deserved it (9142)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML

#20634924
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27446) - you deserved it (53549)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

#20634724
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61797) - you deserved it (4995)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

#20632729
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57174) - you deserved it (14983)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by SecondBest,IGuess (woman) - United States

Today, I found out I was an alcoholic. Not from my friends or family, but because the ice-maker couldn't keep up with the amount of drinks I've been making. FML

#20614650
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31376) - you deserved it (17900)

On 04/22/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by KyngJulian - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32975) - you deserved it (50864) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

#20538482
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34717) - you deserved it (3842)

On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20530) - you deserved it (59972)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version



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