Lomus

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Offline (the 08/21/2014 at 1:38pm)

Lomus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 May 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4782
  • Number of comments : 168
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

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Lomus's page activity

Visits<b>thegirlwholived</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 10:57pm<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 9:02am<b>Role448</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 3:51am<b>PlaySpades</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 9:50am<b>letmehavemytea</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 1:36pm<b>WhisperSoflty</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 2:20am<b>Crazynocatlady</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 7:14pm<b>FlubbaBubba</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 9:23am<b>staaacey</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 11:11am<b>zen1979</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 9:40am<b>Whorunstheworld</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 4:22pm<b>mt631</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 3:54pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 2:41pm<b>ILoveHashtags</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 12:04pm<b>tj4234</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 1:23pm<b>mFUNdo21</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 6:00pm<b>erjazo</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 1:15pm<b>rosesthorn</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 3:19am

Lomus's FML badges

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of Lomus's badges

Lomus's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent the whole day doing a 500 piece puzzle. The last piece didn't fit. FML

by Puzzlepiece / 06/28/2014 at 10:08am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

by failed dad / 06/25/2014 at 8:30am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML

by the lannisters send their retards / 06/17/2014 at 4:30pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

by green and not with envy / 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

by MiserableMan / 06/10/2014 at 12:02am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Love

Today, I went to a fancy charity dinner. I'm a schmoozer, so I decided to introduce myself to someone important. I asked enthusiastically, "So, how are you involved with all of this madness?" He frowned at me. I then remembered that this particular charity assists people with mental issues. FML

by charitableidiot / 06/05/2014 at 6:23pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

by ShutTheFuCupcake / 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

by Lookalike / 05/12/2014 at 10:38am / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Love

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

by chumman / 05/06/2014 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

by Numbass123 / 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she's been sleeping with him. FML

by loserman / 04/29/2014 at 6:40pm / United States (Texas) / Love