Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Lolly_Poll

Search for a member

Lolly_Poll
  • Town/Country : United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 15 January 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 750
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Lolly_Poll's last visitors

fml0505winterforever97

Lolly_Poll's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of Lolly_Poll's badges

Lolly_Poll's favorite FMLs

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

#18842582
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22237) - you deserved it (4712)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

#18837069
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20253) - you deserved it (6100)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:41pm - misc - by anon. (woman) - United States

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

#18829619
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38456) - you deserved it (9419)

On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my front house window was smashed. A note was left, saying 'I want my cat back'. I have no idea what they are talking about. FML

#18819686
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21373) - you deserved it (1376)

On 01/15/2012 at 11:17pm - misc - by James - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML

#18812835
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29103) - you deserved it (3151)

On 01/15/2012 at 5:24am - misc - by lolwtfbbq444 - Australia

Today, I dove head-first underneath my garage door, narrowly missing both the sensor and the closing door, executing a perfect roll, and popping back up onto my feet unscathed. My smugness went through the floor as I remembered I'd left my keys back in the house. FML

#18798370
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16558) - you deserved it (11850)

On 01/13/2012 at 7:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)

Today, in preparation for proposing to my girlfriend, I borrowed one of her rings, so I could discreetly get her ring size. Not only have I now lost the ring, which turns out to be a keepsake of her dead grandmother, I still don't know her ring size. FML

#18795582
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13472) - you deserved it (35860)

On 01/13/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by machismo - United States (Ohio)

Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML

#18784375
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12872) - you deserved it (22714)

On 01/12/2012 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Armagh)

Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breath I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML

#18778131
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30757) - you deserved it (3862)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while very sick, throwing up in a bucket beside my bed, my dad came in pushed my face into the bucket. For a laugh apparently. FML

#18770339
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27976) - you deserved it (2104)

On 01/10/2012 at 9:52pm - health - by barface - United States (Texas)

Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML

#18742973
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32410) - you deserved it (10001)

On 01/08/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by VerbalDiarrhea (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19014) - you deserved it (37897)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10379) - you deserved it (50675)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

#18728006
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25782) - you deserved it (3602)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

#18704788
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28242) - you deserved it (4698)

On 01/04/2012 at 7:32am - intimacy - by thankzbabe (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: