About LolliDolly : My name is Veronica, I don't usually comment I just read all the FMLs and comments. I'm usually on the app so you can message me but I might not reply for a long time.
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Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21450) - you deserved it (24175)
On 04/01/2011 at 12:32am - love - by Anonymous - United States
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30164) - you deserved it (24878)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32259) - you deserved it (5581)
On 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Abby_gummibear (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32259) - you deserved it (5581)
On 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Abby_gummibear (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I went on a date, the first one I've been on since my last boyfriend broke up with me 6 months ago. We were in a restaurant, and at the end of meal he insisted on paying the bill. He wanted to leave a 15% tip but couldn't work out in his head how much to leave. The bill was for £100. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19733) - you deserved it (10609)
On 03/16/2011 at 1:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12616) - you deserved it (36112)
On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, an old lady hit me with her car. After which she says, "Oh! Not Again!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23109) - you deserved it (1831)
On 02/28/2011 at 10:50am - misc - by roadkill - United States
Today, I just pulled out of the fast food drive through, only to pull right behind a septic truck. Just as I was about to dig into my food, I noticed it had a handy window about a foot round. I had a stare-down with a turd until I could pass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14732) - you deserved it (2684)
On 02/15/2011 at 12:13pm - misc - by Goatbeard (man) - United States (California)
Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40034) - you deserved it (7605)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35620) - you deserved it (4903)
On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, b*tch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9843) - you deserved it (44501)
On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, at an Aunt's wake, my five year old son walked up to the coffin, and, with the whole family around him, exclaimed, "Well that's good, I was wondering where she's been." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21208) - you deserved it (2240)
On 10/29/2010 at 4:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28870) - you deserved it (16266)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, the guy I like recommended I buy this computer game. Wanting to impress him, I agreed. Turns out it was a joke. I am now the proud owner of Microsoft Train Simulator 2005, and he can't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6480) - you deserved it (22646)
On 09/26/2010 at 4:14am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24817) - you deserved it (8361)
On 08/30/2010 at 3:55pm - misc - by Shelby (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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