About LolliDolly : My name is Veronica, I don't usually comment I just read all the FMLs and comments. I'm usually on the app so you can message me but I might not reply for a long time.
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Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43482) - you deserved it (5206)
On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up random names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59563) - you deserved it (12172)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)
Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59755) - you deserved it (2741)
On 07/05/2009 at 1:21am - work - by Barista (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (119424) - you deserved it (5925)
On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, it was my first big time art show. To celebrate I went out to lunch with some people who's work was also there. When we got back police where every where. Someone had broken and stolen all of the art. All except mine. Even burglars don't want my art. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38543) - you deserved it (3633)
On 06/28/2009 at 3:54am - work - by not_dead_yet (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72606) - you deserved it (10081)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (178095) - you deserved it (25408)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML
I agree, your life sucks (29680) - you deserved it (11702)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:03pm - kids - by vballqt201 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first girl he saw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75449) - you deserved it (7519)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:39am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73216) - you deserved it (15328)
On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML
I agree, your life sucks (56420) - you deserved it (5097)
On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54308) - you deserved it (3860)
On 06/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by doubleds (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13223) - you deserved it (52618)
On 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by waterproblem (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49504) - you deserved it (2457)
On 05/14/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by thisreallyhappened (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, while working at a children's day camp, one of the kids who is allergic to peanuts went into anaphylactic shock. I ran and grabbed the boys eppe pen. I was holding it backwards so the injection went into my hand, causing me to pass out and both of us to be rushed to hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20905) - you deserved it (46263)
On 05/14/2009 at 10:11am - work - by MC (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Friday 24 May 2013
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