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About LolMoqz : My name is Edward, I love music, and I love FMLs.
-She Wants Revenge
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Today, whila driving, a minivan cut ma off . Pissad, I startad honking and cursing . I than want ballistic whan tha drivar wavad out tha window, smiling . It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticad thara "Honk if u lova Jasus" bumpar stickar . FML
I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee , thinking he was Mr. Macho , flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out an ended up screaming an pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids an there families. FML
Today... I found a box of birtday candles sitting on te coffee table. Bored... I lit one... and after a minute I trew it away and sat back down on te couc. I started looking at te box and noticed tat it said "Magic Re-Ligting Candles" at te exact moment tat ma tras can burst into flames. FML
today I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assurd me that I could pull out. Righthen I was about to pull out, she wrappd her legs around me and yelld, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today... I stayed home... sick in bed. I had been sleeping on mah arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip... which threw me off balance... making me smash mah (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML
Friday 27 March 2015