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Loff

Offline (the 08/27/2015 at 7:06am) | Search for a member

Loff

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 23 June 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9411
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Loff's page activity

Visits<b>Effinusername</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 10:36pm<b>oj101</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 6:51am

Loff's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Loff's badges

Loff's favorite FMLs

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48380) - you deserved it (13728)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I rummaged around in the attic, looking for old pictures of me and my family, so I could make a surprise collage. Instead, I found my dad's old journals, talking about how desperately he didn't want a kid, and how he wanted to leave my mother more and more every day that passed since I was born. FML

#14974571
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42803) - you deserved it (3745)

On 02/14/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by surfergal91 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my professor's son died in a car accident and class has been cancelled until further notice. All my friends were delighted and cheered about it in front of me. I was dating my professor's son. FML

#14922394
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (135181) - you deserved it (6000)

On 02/10/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML

#14811207
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38740) - you deserved it (4632)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:11pm - love - by straightasaneedle (man) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML

#14750549
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35515) - you deserved it (4220)

On 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm - health - by Mervin22 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while at school, I slipped on a wet patch in the hall and fell over, smacking my head against the floor. I laid there for a good five minutes in agonizing pain while people literally walked over me. Not a single person bothered to help me up or ask if I was okay. FML

#14698877
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33901) - you deserved it (4016)

On 01/24/2011 at 3:38pm - misc - by damnbananas (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML

#14671096
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38674) - you deserved it (3208)

On 01/22/2011 at 5:03am - intimacy - by Theaccident (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

#14512160
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71777) - you deserved it (3840)

On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML

#14460417
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44805) - you deserved it (5385)

On 01/04/2011 at 5:56am - intimacy - by LoveMyNewBro -

Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I'd be sitting next to wafting the smell of her vagina towards herself and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML

#14239433
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42948) - you deserved it (3705)

On 12/17/2010 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

#14187537
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106697) - you deserved it (5895)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while walking past a homeless man, I heard him comment on the woman in front of me saying, "I should come to this side of town more often, there's some hotties here." Then he saw me and said, "Wait, no, I think I'll stay on the other side of town." FML

#14124192
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26875) - you deserved it (3678)

On 12/07/2010 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML

#14119130
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35252) - you deserved it (2989)

On 12/07/2010 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, after years of hard work, I had an interview at the highest ranking university in the world 800 miles from where I live. It snowed heavily for the last 2 days closing every road, railway, and airport causing me to miss the interview. There is no rescheduling. FML

#14110903
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32230) - you deserved it (2443)

On 12/06/2010 at 7:37pm - work - by hulio88 -

Today, I got hit in the mouth with a hockey stick and lost four teeth. Yesterday I got my braces of six years removed. FML

#14036176
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75397) - you deserved it (5344)

On 11/30/2010 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous - Ireland (Monaghan)



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