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Loff

Offline (the 01/27/2015 at 9:14am) | Search for a member

Loff

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 23 June 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5059
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Loff's page activity

Visits<b>Effinusername</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 10:36pm<b>oj101</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 6:51am

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Loff's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML

#21147101
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48077) - you deserved it (11783)

On 05/21/2014 at 7:05am - love - by Alone - United States (Michigan)

Today, I actually uttered the words: "Those are my good sweatpants." FML

#21141634
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37382) - you deserved it (8700)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:16am - misc - by dieana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I received yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applied to. After crying for a week about how lousy I felt, my older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML

#21140332
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67035) - you deserved it (4955)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:40am - misc - by livingamongtheflowers - United States

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60027) - you deserved it (5140)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

#21137065
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51936) - you deserved it (7195)

On 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63867) - you deserved it (8108)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37839) - you deserved it (20093)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

#21130490
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41313) - you deserved it (10513)

On 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm - health - by Numbass123 (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

#21127339
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39572) - you deserved it (4985)

On 04/30/2014 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of three years. I worked my ass off planning everything down to a T. It seemed perfect, until I actually proposed, at which point I was rejected and dumped, in front of my family, friends and two coworkers. FML

#21126146
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49653) - you deserved it (5258)

On 04/29/2014 at 10:18am - love - by willstaysingle (man) -

Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML

#21125215
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42919) - you deserved it (4945)

On 04/28/2014 at 11:38am - love - by salad - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, after beating myself up for being useless and not being able to do anything right, I managed to choke almost to the point of blacking out, on a piece of lettuce. FML

#21124429
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35929) - you deserved it (5536)

On 04/27/2014 at 3:16pm - misc - by failureatlife - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML

#21124338
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43309) - you deserved it (6055)

On 04/27/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Shit (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was out drinking with some colleagues, when one started ranting about some pretty sensitive subjects. There were some Latino guys nearby, and as soon as he said "I'm not racist, but..." I tried to casually get the hell out of there. We all got the crap beaten out of us anyway. FML

#21122958
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39970) - you deserved it (6361)

On 04/25/2014 at 7:45pm - health - by fuck you, Jeff (man) - United States (Arizona)



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