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Loff

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Loff

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 23 June 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2319
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Loff's page activity

Visits<b>Effinusername</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 10:36pm<b>oj101</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 6:51am

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Loff's favorite FMLs

Today, my family and I were celebrating my dad's birthday. The two of us were standing by the pool chatting, and I jokingly said "You're old now." I suppose I should have expected him to shove me into the pool, my phone still in hand, and retort, "You're soaked now." FML

#21054564
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31447) - you deserved it (16705)

On 02/08/2014 at 3:54pm - misc - by fuck you, dad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48074) - you deserved it (9497)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon after I had explained to her how scared I was of the exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

#21054343
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41696) - you deserved it (5687)

On 02/08/2014 at 12:13pm - misc - by so scared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43389) - you deserved it (9321)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML

#21053635
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36648) - you deserved it (4176)

On 02/07/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by fuckmyplums (man) - Austria (Salzburg)

Today, I told my professor that I'll be missing class next week due to upcoming surgery. I asked if I could take the exam that I'd otherwise miss another day. He said no, and that I'd just have to take a failing grade, then wished me luck with the surgery. FML

#21053454
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49165) - you deserved it (3633)

On 02/07/2014 at 3:30pm - health - by ... - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother-in-law tried to "accidentally" run me over. FML

#21052599
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43232) - you deserved it (3799)

On 02/06/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41327) - you deserved it (21498)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I was ringing an elderly gentleman up at work. As I went to package up the buns he ordered, he held up a hand and told me to wait. He then looked me in the eyes, started squeezing them, then winked and told me to go ahead. I've never felt so violated. FML

#21050427
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39444) - you deserved it (4034)

On 02/04/2014 at 4:42pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

#21049518
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55220) - you deserved it (6325)

On 02/03/2014 at 5:47pm - love - by well i'm fucked (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after months of looking at cribs and picking out the perfect one for my unborn daughter, the store informed me that they no longer make that crib, even though the model is right there on the sales floor. I had to leave as my hormones got the best of me and I started bawling. FML

Today, I was bitched out at 2am by my parents, for trying to "sneak out." I was sneaking out of my bedroom to take a crap. FML

#21048094
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41037) - you deserved it (3576)

On 02/02/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren. I'm an only child. FML

Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

#21047394
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38487) - you deserved it (3926)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm - work - by TwistedCherub1 (woman) - United States

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

#21046394
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43110) - you deserved it (8203)

On 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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