Loff

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Offline (the 02/08/2016 at 4:57pm)

Loff

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 23 June 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11718
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Loff's page activity

Visits<b>Effinusername</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 10:36pm<b>oj101</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 6:51am

Loff's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Loff's badges

Loff's favorite FMLs

Today, a girl said to me, "Sorry, but I have a boyfriend". I hadn't said anything to her. FML

by CCrew42 / 11/20/2014 at 7:27pm / United States (Washington) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2014 at 11:20am / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

by blindsparrow / 11/18/2014 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, after realizing my flashcards had fallen out of my binder, I asked my teacher if I could quickly go to my locker to get them. She said no and told me to go sit down. As soon as class ended, I went to my locker and brought them to her. Her response? "Why didn't you ask me to get these during class?" FML

by ohgosh... / 11/17/2014 at 10:10pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

by elsatheannoyed / 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 11/11/2014 at 10:37am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had a dream where I was cuddling with a girl. She rolled over to face me, snuggled up into the crook of my neck, then muttered in disgust, "Ugh, your breath stinks!" Cock-blocked in my own dreams. FML

by mouthwash / 11/11/2014 at 12:05am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I spent over $2,000 on a big flatscreen TV. My dad insisted I let him mount it on the wall instead of paying someone to do it. All seemed fine, until the TV came loose and smashed onto the floor. My dad refuses to accept responsibility, and says I should've had a professional install it instead. FML

by Anonymou$ / 11/06/2014 at 6:37pm / United States (Alabama) / Money

Today, I burned my hand while making breakfast. As I staggered around the kitchen in agony, looking for some burn cream, my cat figured he'd latch onto said hand and drag his claws through the burn. FML

Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML

by kimmykins27 / 10/31/2014 at 8:58am / United States / Kids

Today, my friend thought she would "save me some time" by spoiling Game of Thrones. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2014 at 6:46am / Australia / Geek

Today, my mom spelled my name with all lowercase letters. When I asked her why she wrote it like that, she got pissed and snapped back, "Capitals are for people who amount to something." FML

by wow / 10/30/2014 at 6:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my school put on a musical. I was one of the leads, and in the middle of my solo, I got a huge nosebleed. A little girl in the front row screamed. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2014 at 5:58pm / United States / Health

Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2014 at 2:35pm / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I've been one year sober. My health has improved a lot, unlike my social life, which has died a horrible, lonely death. FML

by not drunk / 10/28/2014 at 2:04pm / Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul) / Health