Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Lobster

Search for a member

Lobster

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 35175
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Lobster : BOO.

Lobster's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 3:08pm<b>itzdj</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 10:19pm<b>CassidyAnne</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 9:59pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:11pm<b>Njord09</b> - the 07/31/2009 at 3:51pm<b>redxapplexoxo</b> - the 07/24/2009 at 5:03pm<b>altna</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 12:38pm<b>lizarddx0x0</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 2:58pm<b>annoyedwife5</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 2:44pm<b>pyromaniac239</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 12:21pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 2:01am<b>donnieandalicia</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 11:43pm<b>jmud</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 8:04pm<b>Holybatman</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 1:44am<b>122vanessa122</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 12:01am<b>lyfewitj</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 11:19pm<b>morenap</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 12:24pm<b>hotwired78</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 3:19pm

Lobster's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Lobster's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. After a few minutes of conversing, he told me he didn't need to give me a ticket. He then asked for a date. I politely declined. After staring at me for a very long moment, he said "I think I'm going to have to give you that ticket after all." FML

#4255816
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44613) - you deserved it (24854)

On 08/03/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by WearingOff (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML

#4254409
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68890) - you deserved it (5065)

On 08/03/2009 at 12:33pm - intimacy - by myparentsarehoes (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I found out that the girl I tutored in high school in basic ENGLISH just received her PhD in Biophysics. I am now the manager of a McDonald's. I was also the Valedictorian of our graduating class. FML

#4253042
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39651) - you deserved it (35901)

On 08/03/2009 at 11:08am - work - by MickeyDManager (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got fired from work. Why? I finally took a stand for myself and confronted my co-worker of writing things up in my name for herself, and it getting deducted from my check. So she goes to the manager and accuses me of sexual harassment. Everyone applauded. FML

#4252851
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49582) - you deserved it (3503)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was just about to get in the shower, when I heard a loud crunch. I thought to myself, boy the neighbours next door must be doing some heavy construction. Two seconds after that thought, my brother knocked on the door to inform me that the neighbours tree had just fallen on my car. FML

#4251731
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45105) - you deserved it (2090)

On 08/03/2009 at 8:43am - misc - by Jaybird1587 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to my grandfathers' funeral. As I stood there, bawling my eyes out, my aunt came over and put her arm around me. She leaned her head close to mine. I assumed she was going to say something comforting, instead she asked where I'd bought my shoes from. FML

#4251374
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42365) - you deserved it (2897)

On 08/03/2009 at 8:04am - misc - by whitneyy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my cousins and I were bored so we began talking about weird dreams we've had. My little cousin turns to me and says "I had a dream you were in a beauty contest. You lost badly". FML

#4248848
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36294) - you deserved it (4579)

On 08/03/2009 at 3:37am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML

#4247689
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68206) - you deserved it (3970)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by dumb (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to visit my girlfriend who lives 20 hours away. Four Red Bulls: $11.50. Gas: $200. Driving halfway across the country to find your girlfriend in bed with another guy? FML

Today, I finally decided to tell my mother, a former Miss North Carolina winner, that I was several weeks pregnant. She immediately burst into tears and hugged me. She kept saying, "Thank god, thank god." At first I was relieved. Then she said, "I thought you were just getting fat." FML

#4244213
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46590) - you deserved it (4236)

On 08/03/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I finished my internship working in a government lab. I got paid $4000 for the summer. I was talking to my cousin, who said that when he worked as a carnie last summer he made $8000. I get paid half as much for doing research as a carnie does for serving people sno-cones. FML

#4241415
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34354) - you deserved it (5094)

On 08/02/2009 at 10:40pm - money - by arghhh (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

#4235040
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14098) - you deserved it (119199)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by jeeperspeepers (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was working my shift at a fancy restaurant and it had been a really hard day. My parents came in to have dinner and surprise me. After paying, they left a note saying they would see me at home. It also said "By the way, no tip, because you stink at serving." FML

#4231634
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40138) - you deserved it (6332)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:12pm - work - by waiterrrrrrrrr (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got engaged to my boyfriend of three years. I made the announcement on my status on facebook so people would congratulate me. The only response I got about my engagement was from a girl I knew saying; "Umm, he didn't tell you he was cheating on you for three years with me?" FML

#4231503
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64448) - you deserved it (5501)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by ididntdoanythingaight (woman) - United States (Kansas)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: