Lobster

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Lobster

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 39437
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Lobster : BOO.

Lobster's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 8:07am<b>Disobey</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 7:40pm<b>HaonSnevets</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 7:37pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 3:08pm<b>itzdj</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 10:19pm<b>CassidyAnne</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 9:59pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:11pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:55am<b>Njord09</b> - the 07/31/2009 at 3:51pm<b>redxapplexoxo</b> - the 07/24/2009 at 5:03pm<b>altna</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 12:38pm<b>lizarddx0x0</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 2:58pm<b>annoyedwife5</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 2:44pm<b>pyromaniac239</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 12:21pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 2:01am<b>donnieandalicia</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 11:43pm<b>jmud</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 8:04pm<b>Holybatman</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 1:44am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 2:07pm

Lobster's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Lobster's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML

by HouseMdFangirl / 08/10/2009 at 2:12am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I polished off the delicious iced gingerbread cookies in the pantry. I'd assumed the little flecks on them were speckles of broken icing, but as I went to throw the cookie bag away, a larva crawled out. The hundreds of flecks were moth eggs. I've been eating the cookies for three days. FML

by Entheatus / 08/10/2009 at 12:25am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, I found out the hot girl I'd been flirting with on Facebook is actually 3 10-year-olds who created a fake profile to see how many desperate losers would try to hook up with her. FML

by pwndbykidz / 08/09/2009 at 7:54pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

by foojew93 / 08/09/2009 at 1:41pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML

by scaredshitless / 08/07/2009 at 12:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a video call with a couple of old friends, but the conversation sort of got boring, so I started mouthing words so they'd think the connection was bad and end the awkwardness. Then, as soon as they hung up the call, I realized I'd left my music on in the background the whole time. FML

by fazzems / 08/06/2009 at 11:10pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML

by smiletellsall / 08/06/2009 at 7:41pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, after being supportive for nearly a year, my brother finally came out of the closet and introduced the family to his new boyfriend. His new boyfriend happens to be my ex-boyfriend. Guess I know why that didn't work out now. FML

by tryingnottocare / 08/06/2009 at 4:01pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went through the car wash my boyfriend works at. When I pulled in, I explained I was Greg's girlfriend and cutely asked if I could get a free car wash. His co-worker looked at me confused and said "Greg said he didn't have a girlfriend", then he looked at me and said "Now I know why". FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 3:31pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

by who_could_it_be / 08/06/2009 at 9:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a wallet on the train. I called the owner, who said he would come around and pick it up. When he finally did, he looked inside and screamed that his money was missing, and that I was a dirty thief. I never took a cent. He's filing theft charges against me. FML

by Shopgirl / 08/06/2009 at 9:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, I had to come back home early from my holidays. Why? I had asked my grandmother to water my plants, some of which are illegal. Instead of doing it herself, she asked her neighbor... who is a cop. FML

by Cowan / 08/06/2009 at 8:27am / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Animals