Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Lobster

Search for a member

Lobster

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 33746
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Lobster : BOO.

Lobster's page activity

Visits<b>itzdj</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 10:19pm<b>CassidyAnne</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 9:59pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:11pm<b>Njord09</b> - the 07/31/2009 at 3:51pm<b>redxapplexoxo</b> - the 07/24/2009 at 5:03pm<b>altna</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 12:38pm<b>lizarddx0x0</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 2:58pm<b>annoyedwife5</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 2:44pm<b>pyromaniac239</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 12:21pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 2:01am<b>donnieandalicia</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 11:43pm<b>jmud</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 8:04pm<b>Holybatman</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 1:44am<b>122vanessa122</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 12:01am<b>lyfewitj</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 11:19pm<b>morenap</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 12:24pm<b>hotwired78</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 3:19pm<b>Krystal412</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 3:36am

Lobster's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Lobster's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70087) - you deserved it (8169)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I ran into a guy that I had gone on a few dates with 3 months ago and slept with him a few times, but then never heard from him again. When he looked at me, I went over and gave him a hug and said "Hey, how are you, Chris?". He hugged me back and said "Hey there cutie, what's your name?". FML

#4603777
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41990) - you deserved it (16405)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a girl was tailgating me, even though I was going at speed limit. Annoyed, I drove 10 mph under the speed limit, and every time she honked, I went 5mph slower. Too bad she got the last laugh... I was pulled over for "reckless driving." FML

#4589153
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17790) - you deserved it (41799)

On 08/17/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by tailgaterhater - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

#4488799
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97569) - you deserved it (4794)

On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was volunteering at the library. A kid came up and asked me to help him peel the back off his sticker. It took me so long the kid left. Determined, I still tried to peel it off. Fifteen minutes later, the librarian came over, looked once at it, and told me it wasn't a sticker. FML

#4484450
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9795) - you deserved it (37159)

On 08/12/2009 at 8:34pm - work - by librarygirl (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

#4483118
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53131) - you deserved it (19884)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML

#4478498
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51638) - you deserved it (7024)

On 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by auslander (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML

#4478482
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42704) - you deserved it (2850)

On 08/12/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Kobenhavn)

Today, I heard a girl telling her friend all about her boyfriend, John. They talked about the grocery store that he works at, and that he drives a nice yellow mustang. My boyfriend's name is John, works at that same grocery store, and drives a nice yellow mustang. FML

#4475773
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55271) - you deserved it (3431)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:09pm - love - by Kelly (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my 15-year-old daughter asked for a ride to her boyfriend's house. It's the same house I've been driving her to for sleepovers with her friend "Kate" for two years. FML

#4473849
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34517) - you deserved it (47960)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started a new job as a maid. As I was cleaning the master bedroom's en-suite bathroom, the owners of the house came in and started making love. I was too scared to admit I was there, but after there was silence for a few minutes I thought it might be safe to leave. It wasn't. FML

#4472401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50488) - you deserved it (6966)

On 08/12/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by maidmyday (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found my car had been robbed. The thieves stole my GPS, my iPod and my digital camera. While I was filing the police report, the officer recommended I take photos for insurance purposes. Then she remembered my camera had been stolen. She actually started laughing. FML

#4472347
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46596) - you deserved it (4810)

On 08/12/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by CosmicJoke (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my ex got dumped by his girlfriend. Seeing my opportunity I sent him a song I wrote for him about how much I still love him. He sent it on to the girl who had just dumped him claiming he had written it. They are back together. FML

#4470917
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54964) - you deserved it (20367)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:18am - love - by sadsongstress (woman) - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML

#4463161
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14070) - you deserved it (41756)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:34pm - kids - by SomeDJ (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML

#4460774
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53178) - you deserved it (2814)

On 08/11/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: